


Otoboros

by Nobodystormcrow



Category: Naruto, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Dabi is Todoroki Touya, Dabi is a law student, Fix-It, Gen, He practices by sending letters of litigation to Endeavor, He ran away to join Oto instead of the LoV, Kabuto please stop assuming that these are the Chuunin Exams, Marriage of Convenience, Mineta Mooru is Replaced, Nono is eighty percent of her family's impulse control, Not, Oro's creating an army via adoption sprees, Oto means basic human decency, Please stop poaching baby villains Orochimaru, Queerplatonic relationship, Rich old men want to live longer, So they gave Sound a permit to use quirks, between Orochimaru and Nono, poor them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-02-07 11:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18619423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nobodystormcrow/pseuds/Nobodystormcrow
Summary: Oto would thrive here, taking in the abandoned, the mocked, the feared, giving those rejected by society through no fault of their own dignity, purpose, and belonging.In short, Orochimaru gets reincarnated into BNHA with his most valuable *cough* precious *cough* people, and the LoV never quite gets off the ground because Orochimaru keeps poaching the talent. And there's Kabuto. He takes Mineta's place in 1-A by teaming up with Izuku in the Entrance exams (You hit stuff and break both the robots and your bones, and I'll heal the bones for you so you can keep breaking them) bonds with Izuku through their shared love of analysis, and really just wants to dissect something.On the bright side, no pervy grapes peeking on the girl's bodies. On the other hand, Kabuto is technically interested in their bodies as well, but at least he's reformed and respectful.





	1. Kabuto, Creator of Conundrums

Izuku was so, so excited! President Mic --  _the_  President Mic was here! In person! Then it was revealed that the test was robots and Izuku crash landed back on planet reality.

" _Psst,_ " came a voice from behind him.

"Huh?"

A silver-haired boy wearing round glasses leaned forward, showing his own card. "We're both in B. Do you want to team up?"

"What sort of fucking stupid weakling are you?" Kaachan hissed, "You're fucking trying to cheat on the fucking exam by teaming up with the most fucking useless Deku on the planet."

The boy smiled, and Izuku got the feeling that despite the friendly quirk of the lips, he was hiding sharp teeth. It might even make sense; if the boy had some sort of non-physically-enhancing mutation quirk with a manifestation like sharp teeth, he might not be able to use it to its full potential against robots. However, it could be effective against other opponents so it shouldn't be dismissed out of hand.

Would Yuuei allow teamups? Technically, heroes should learn to work together and cover for each other's weaknesses while supporting each other's strengths, so it should be within the rules. On the other hand the exam was supposed to test your  _own_  strengths and weaknesses, so it would be against the spirit, if not the letter, of the rules to team up. Yet your own strengths and weaknesses should include your ability to work well with others, but that looped back to --

"My name's Kabuto, and my quirk's biomanipulation." The boy offered. "Don't worry about the rules. As our hasty friend over there said, Yuuei is good enough that it wouldn't forget to forbid anything. The most that'll happen will be some problems over how we're assigned points, but if we do better together than apart, then I don't see why it wouldn't turn out well."

"Biomanipulation? That's a really versatile Quirk! Can you manipulate your own body? If you can, it'll work really well against the robots, you know! You can give yourself really good eyesight so that you can lock onto weak points, then make your nails grow into claws or make bone spurs so that you can destroy any weaknesses you see!"

Kabuto-san lit up, "You and I are going to have a wonderful friendship." He grinned, "But I've only mostly tr -- experimented with healing with my quirk, and I don't want to try something new right before the exams, since it smacks of bad judgment. It'd be easier to deal with robots with one ambushing and the other distracting anyway, so I'd much rather team up with you, if that's all right with you."

"Uh… Alright."

Kaachan let out a laugh. "You're going to be a team alright. Team Deku. The two most useless people in this exam."

"I wouldn't say that." Kabuto-san said lazily. "I might not be able to provide much physical support, but the exam hasn't changed for the last decade. I've compiled enough intel on the four robots to make this an equivalent change, Midoriya-san."

"What the hell." Kaachan grunted. "I don't need to know their weaknesses beforehand. Unlike you, I have a useful quirk."

Izuku steadied himself, "I'd like to team up with you, Kabuto-san."

* * *

Kabuto ran through the list of blind spots, mobility issues and design flaws as they walked, effortlessly reciting them without concern for who might overhear -- in fact, he was very willing to share, not that many took him up on the offer. Urakara did though, so she joined their conversation. Kabuto asked if he could give him callused skin to protect his hands, and Izuku agreed. According to Kabuto, it was safer to alter others rather than himself because then he could identify the parts he altered and reverse them if complications arose. The older boy also effortlessly calmed down the boy from earlier, raising his hands placatingly and defusing the situation. 

Was Kabuto just good with people? Or was he assisted by a use of his quirk?

Anger was part mental, part physical, so could Kabuto have used his Biomanipulation to regulate the other boy's hormones? That might count as harming your fellow examinee though, since hormones like adrenaline were produced by the body to react to stressful situations like the exam, and the control needed to alter something as subtle as hormones might not be within Kabuto’s capabilities but on the other hand, the amount of hormones that needed to be altered before there was a discernible effect should be very low compared to, say, the cells in a single muscle, so maybe Kabuto-san was better -- but he said something about healing, so maybe Kabuto was more practiced with muscles and skin and blood vessels, since they were usually the parts hurt?

"START!" Present Mic shouted.

Caught in his tangle of thoughts, Izuku was frozen, but Kabuto-san moved immediately. Dragging him along by one arm, Kabuto went in first through the doors, then immediately found a series of narrow alleys. "Come on, Izuku-san!" The boy encouraged him as they ran. "Focus on the present."

Right, he could do that. All Might believed in him! He couldn't let him or Kabuto down.

Kabuto called out the positions of robots relative to them. Was it Kabuto being naturally observant? Or was it a secondary mutation of his biomanipulation, to make it easier to use?

He managed to distract a three-pointer for a second, and Kabuto ducked in to tear out a handful of wires. The robot dropped like a stone in a pond.

"Izuku-san?"

"Yes Kabuto?"

"I may have forgotten to mention that the Zero-pointer is the size of the buildings."

"WHAT!?"

"Go for this three-pointer, Izuku-san!" The bespectacled boy replied cheerfully, darting straight at the robot in question.

It moved. The trajectory of its fist would hit Kabuto-san and he wouldn't be able to dodge.

Kabuto had offered to team up with him and hadn't abandoned him even though he hadn't done anything Kabuto-san couldn't do, hadn't even cared about his quirk or lack thereof. He was one of the first friends he made in the recent years -- he couldn't let him just die!

He ran. In that moment, something  _changed_. His surroundings blurred past and he cocked back a fist, strength flowing through him.  _SMASH!_

In the cloud that followed, all he could feel was a hand on his arm and the agony shooting through it like lightning bolts.

Kabuto was healing the fractured bones, reverting red back to a healthy skin tone at a mere touch. "I can see why you haven't been using your quirk," the boy muttered. "I can deal with that. If we stay close, I'll be able to heal you even if we don't touch."

Kabuto bit down on his own finger and drew a streak of blood on both of Izuku arms. "There," the older boy said with satisfaction even as Izuku blanched, "It'll make it easier."

Izuku opened his mouth to ask –-

"You can ask later." Kabuto cut him off cheerily.

They worked well; he hit robots straight on without bothering to aim for weaknesses while Kabuto's strange, tingling Quirk flowed through his limbs, undoing the damage almost simultaneously.

* * *

**Meanwhile, with the teachers....**

* * *

"Who's the silver-haired boy with the Quirk that beats Recovery Girl's? And more importantly, is teaming up even allowed?"

"Yakushi Kabuto." Nedzu said, "His quirk is listed as biomanipulation. He's the only survivor of the Hyotan Labs Massacre. A clone of his guardian, Orochimaru. As for teaming up -- it's not forbidden, but while there are students who get rescue points in every exam, there has been no precedent of an examinee showing so little concern for his own success as to aid another for the duration of the whole exam. Kabuto is quite unique in his decision."

"Orochimaru?  _That_  Orochimaru?"

"For those of you who haven't met him," Vlad King interjected darkly, "Orochimaru's the head of Oto, a relatively low-profile organization that reaches out to assist victims of Quirk-based discrimination. You might think him a philanthropist if it weren't for the fact that he definitely has ties to the underworld, wields influence over the founders of most of the successful start-ups in the past decade and far too many high ranked employees in major organizations, and has emphatically stated his 'annoyance' with heroes. That isn't an uncommon opinion with Oto's people. One of them tried to prosecute Endeavor. They would've succeeded if the Commission hadn't gotten in the way."

"But young Kabuto is not his guardian." All Might pointed out. "And he has chosen to enter Yuuei."

It was possible that the man was predisposed towards Yakushi since the boy had befriended his protégé and currently happened to be the only reason Midoriya still had arms. Unfortunately, on-screen, Yakushi was continuously enabling Midoriya's self-destructive style. That needed to be stopped before it became habit.

"His quirk is invaluable." Midnight observed. "Recovery Girl isn't getting any younger, and someone with that sort of healing ability could be her successor."

"Correct." Replied Nedzu. "The boy's been trained, and he's highly intelligent. Look at how he moves, and how he uses his quirk -- that sort of precision comes from practice. His surprise at Midoriya's quirk was genuine; he wasn't targeting Midoriya specifically. He could be doing better, but he's willing to let Midoriya take the lead while he stays to the side-lines.

“He knows exactly what he's doing, and it's been that way from the moment he struck up a conversation with Midoriya, calculating correctly that his partnership with Midoriya will earn him extra points, something no student has ever done before, meaning that it wasn't just the result of research. He's doesn’t hesitate -- he's not just trained to fight in close quarters. He's trained to fight with the intent to harm, perhaps kill."

"Not only will we gain access to the boy's quirk during his enrolment in Yuuei -- and make no mistake, Yakushi will have emerged with one of the highest scores even without his teamwork -- we'll be gaining insight into Oto's secrets, as well as influencing the boy to turn to a lighter path." Aizawa summarized from the corner. "However, Nedzu… Is this compassion for someone who has a similar past to yours?"

"He's genuinely good-hearted, and will make a great hero." The Number One Hero stated firmly, supporting Nedzu.

"I'll keep an eye on him," Aizawa said flatly, "If he doesn't get expelled."

* * *

 Kabuto was beginning to regret befriending Izuku-san.

On one hand, Izuku-san had a pleasant personality and an excellent taste in hobbies. On the other hand, Izuku-san would have fit in quite well in Konoha, with its "no man gets left behind" policy. While they had been doing quite well as a team -- Izuku-san destroying robots (how impractical could these tests get? At least there were killer tiger summons out of the Forest of Death, and trees, unlike robots, did grow on trees, which went to show the superiority of biology over mechanics) while he finished off the ones that Izuku-san only damaged -- the release of the Zero-pointer had brought out the Konohan side of the green-haired boy.

Ochako-chan had become trapped by the rubble from the Zero-pointer, and Izuku-san had taken off to save her. He, excellent teammate that he was, followed, keeping his speed at human baseline. He couldn't wait until he had a few "revelations" and could slip a bit of chakra past people's notice.

At least he had a challenge this time. The Yin Healing Wound Destruction on Izuku-san's arms had worn off, so he needed to finish the jutsu's work. Oh, and his teammate was falling from the sky, so he might need to react swiftly prevent his untimely demise. He readied himself to intervene, but Ochako-chan beat him to it, nullifying Izuku-san's gravity and momentum (the laws of the universe were committing seppuku out of shame).

He slapped a hand on each of them, absent-mindedly repairing Izuku-san's bones while focusing slightly more attention on combating Ochako-chan's nausea, a finicky procedure. Mother was better at neurology than he was.

He checked his watch, another luxury of civilianhood. Time was passing offensively slowly. When would the exam end? The thought reminded him that as Yakushi Kabuto, young Yuuei hopeful, he should be utterly exhausted at the moment. He took a step forward, then stumbled. "Sorry, Izuku-san." He winced, "I don't think I can go on anymore."

The newly destroyed metal was comfortably warm. "You know, I think that I'm going to take a nap, so please refrain from destroying your limbs until I wake up."

* * *

**Back with the teachers...**

* * *

"Can we deduct points for lack of motivation?"

"Sadly, no. And even if we did, he'd still be in the top ten."

"Damn. Rescue points? And, hey, Shouta, Yakushi's a kid after your own heart."

"Urakara, Midoriya, Midoriya, Midoriya, Midoriya, Midoriya, Midoriya, Midoriya -- I'm quartering the Midoriya points for being obviously done out of self-interest. Even with that gone, he still has a list of healings: puncture wounds, skid wounds, burns, some sort of energy boost. He's showing off on purpose at this rate. No wonder he's tuckered out, which means that we might have to add points for accurate self-assessment if that's the case."

"Midoriya and Urakara've internalized Yakushi's spirit of friendship and teamed up for the final minutes. Midoriya can apparently run using his quirk without destroying his limbs, so he's acting as a taxi while Urakara touches them. I'd call it good teamwork if they weren't basically flouting the rules without knowing it. I'll give them an eight in rescue points."

"Why are the good ones all rule-breakers?"

"Iida isn't."

"No, he's worse. He's so stiff and proper that he's overdue for a worldview overhaul."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Kabuto, these aren't Konohan Chuunin exams, you aren't supposed to be tested on your teamwork, stop overthinking things. Also, obfuscating your actual abilities is a good thing, but why did you have to bite your thumb? Summoning has done strange things to your definitions of self harm.  
> It's rather ironic that a village of mercenaries and child soldiers emphasize teamwork and cooperation more than heroes do.  
> And, note the capitalizations. Kabuto says "quirk", not "Quirk". Nedzu and Kabuto say "biomanipulation", Izuku thinks "Biomanipulation". Neither of the two white-haired/furred people think Kabuto actually is just a biomanipulator.


	2. Orochimaru, Subjugator of Schools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware of crochety old snakes.

Though there was unreasonable stigma against delving into the nature of these abilities, there were no pesky kekkai gekkai laws, and such a wonderful rainbow of bloodlines. Sound had taught him that the loyal subordinates would allow him to conduct experiments on their selves, and even volunteer valuable data. All the more reason to recr **e** ate his Hidden Village. The boy who was Orochimaru smiled. This was a heaven indeed.

But first…

World domination could start with school subjugation.

As with all schools, there was a mix of students with a mix of quirks. For some kami-forsaken reason, the individuals of authority (i.e. the teachers) did not step in to discipline the brats that went out of hand. Unlike Shinobi Academies, which carefully cultivated environments that mimicked the real world and employed specially trained operatives who shaped those under their care to fit into future roles, these so-called educators seemed content to let their charges run feral.

Utterly shameful. If children were not taught discipline, respect, and politeness, society would be overrun with chaos. He was quite certain that the blind eye teachers turned towards quirk use was at least a contributing factor in the epidemic of violent crime. The belief that a single form of strength was the foundation of power and not using it as a **n**  obfuscation for the subtler aspects of the work of shinobi was absolutely ludicrous **.** It was clearly causing great waste of potential as thuggish brutes grew unmotivated through arrogance and the actually talented children's smothered confidence destroyed their motivation as well.  _Honestly_.

Fortunately, this was exactly the kindof situation that he could take advantage of. His potential subjects were young enough that he could easily indoctrinate them into cooperating with his experiments.

Case in point.

"Sumi-kun," he said gently, offering up the wind-scattered papers (he had seen genin conjure up better fuutons, but what could you expect of laxly raised civilians?), "You are not stupid."

The boy raised red rimmed eyes. "You think? But I can't even do my homework right and now I have to write it again. And I accidentally erased Kodama-kun's homework too and --"

A sniff. Idiotic teachers again. At least with Jinchuuriki boy's situation, the lack of interpersonal bonds made the ones he did have that much stronger and easier to manipulate him with, while using the boy as a scapegoat at least kept the treatment of other students somewhat acceptable.

This, though? The teachers didn't believe that Sumi-kun wasn't using his quirk as an excuse to get out of doing homework. When Sumi-kun, stressed, destroyed the class's golden boy's schoolwork, they let the boy scatter the contents of Sumi's backpack everywhere with that shoddy excuse for a fuuton.

"You can have mine." He thrust his own filled out papers at the boy.

There was no need for him to degrade himself with such drivel, so it could be put to far better use.

"Re -- really?"

"Of course." He shrugged. "We can also try to figure out your Quirk together, if you want."

He could see so much potential in pigment manipulation. Fool-proof forgery, document recovery/restoration, and  **\--** if he could teach Sumi to access chakra  **\--** touch-setting seals, one of the most difficult aspects of fuiinjutsu. Of course, for combat, even if the Sai brat's ink beasts weren't replicable, any foreign chemical in the bloodstream boded ill for the body, especially if the ink climbed over the eyes.

Sumi-kun threw his arms around him. Orochimaru patted his classmate awkwardly. Excellent **.**  They could start after lunch. He had plenty of notebooks he wanted to recycle.


	3. Rokudo Kabuto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Creepy chapter, and why the snakes are rather more ethical in their experiments this time.

There was something wrong with the order of the world. The toddler stared unblinkingly up at the glaring overhead lights. It was certain that it was not misplaced, yet it was. It wasn't supposed to be strapped down to cold metal. It should not be looking up at a masked face. It should not be under the scalpel. It should not…

Time passed in a haze. The toddler was confronted with kind faces and cruel ones. It was a _he_. He was given a pet. A puppy. It was wrong. It was too warm, too small, too stiff. It was wrong. But right. The puppy was friendly, welcoming, faithful. He hugged the puppy that grew into a hound, the only certain thing in an ever-changing world, the only promise of kindness without strings attached. He named the dog Dog, but the word Inu called to mind something other… a mask of white and red, frozen in a snarl.

Inu and him, against the world. He was trained. That was expected. But why did they have faces? There should only be blank ovals with round eyes, set onto uniform bodies.

* * *

The toddler was a boy. They took Inu. Cut Inu open from shoulder to haunch.

So much blood.

Heal.

They ordered.

Heal.

He obeyed.

* * *

Edo Tensei was the reincarnation of the dead into the impure world. For all his genius, for all his achievements, for all his complexity, he was remembered for one, single thing.

 

> Be a physician, Faustus; heap up gold,
> 
> And be eterniz'd for some wondrous cure:
> 
> Summum bonum medicinae sanitas,
> 
> The end of physic is our body's health.
> 
> Why, Faustus, hast thou not attain'd that end?
> 
> Is not thy common talk found aphorisms?
> 
> Are not thy bills hung up as monuments,
> 
> Whereby whole cities have escap'd the plague,
> 
> And thousand desperate maladies been eas'd?
> 
> Yet art thou still but Faustus, and a man.
> 
> Couldst thou make men to live eternally,
> 
> Or, being dead, raise them to life again,
> 
> Then this profession were to be esteem'd.

Perhaps the fools who immortalized him were correct, for did he not Edo Tensei? Blood-bought understanding of the intricate workings of the flesh mapped out a path for his verdant power to follow. Beneath his hands, flesh knit back together, as if the river of time had bowed and flowed uphill.

Then, sunlight leached out of leaves, so that only icy-blue remained.

 _Thricefold have I been bound, you may not be my master_.

His body was young, but he was the apprentice of the Wandering Miko. Forms were illusions, substance mere vessels for that nebulous essence called will. A shrunken shape merely meant he was a smaller target.

 _ **Kabuto **_was a dragon, and he had mastered death.

Dimly he was aware of screams that came not from his hand. The door was thrown open. In strode a man and a woman, their steps shinobi-soft. The woman wore an immaculate coat of white, and light crowned her head in gold. By her side was a man paler than death, his eyes marked with lavender and his hair a dark void over the robes of a more elegant age.

Nono, the bodhisattva, and Orochimaru, the immortal serpent. Angel and Devil. Spy and Scientist. His two parents.

He smiled through bloodstains. "We've got to stop meeting like this."


	4. Izuku, Instigator of Illogicalness

Izuku thought that Kabuto was being remarkably calm about the threat of expulsion, but then, Kabuto hadn't seemed panicked even when the Zero-pointer had been released.

"Yakushi, stop enabling Midoriya's self-destructive tendencies." Eraserhead grumbled, glaring at his friend with his Quirk activated.

"Sensei," Kabuto protested, "I'm only doing my civic duty to ensure that our future heroes are not hampered by poorly healed injuries which might be exploited by the dastardly forces of villainy!"

Aziawa-sensei's hair dropped back down. "You're still helping him when I'm trying get a read on your individual capabilities. Stop. And don't hold back during your own tests; I'm not teaching you if you can't follow orders."

"Understood." The silver-haired boy grumbled, continuing in a mutter, "But though those who don't follow the rules are trash, those who are willing to put down their allies to achieve their goals are worse than trash. This is _illogical_."

Then he pulled out a roll of bandages from his pants pocket, followed by a pen from behind his ear. "I am a paramedic awaiting certification." He said, looping the bandage through the grip strength device,"I will be carrying medical equipment at all times, so I will usually have supplies on hand in the field. Meaning that in practical terms, what I am doing is testament to my field capability. I'm tying an emergency tourniquet, which, when used on a person, should be loosened at intervals to prevent irreversible tissue damage, but since this is just metal, I don't need to."  
He started twisting the pen.

That was creative! Kabuto was thinking out of the box like during the exam, compensating for the lack of combat applications of his quirk with his medical knowledge. And Aizawa-sensei had given Yaoyorozu the green light when she used her quirk to make a vise, so since Kabuto's knowledge was indirectly the result of his quirk, it should be allowed too.

Next was the softball throw. Kaachan used his explosions to propel the ball, but Uraraka used her Quirk to send it into infinity. The throw seemed to be the best chance he had of getting his score up, though Kabuto's words did give rise to some doubts.  
He raised his arm, drawing up One for All. Nothing.

"Yakushi won't be around to pull his healing trick every time you break every bone in your body." Aizawa-sensei said flatly, "What sort of hero would you be if you had to rely on someone else just to keep from being a liability?"

* * *

Shouta hated this class. There were the standard personalities (god, how was Tokoyami so edgy?), and then there were the _Personalities_. Endeavour's son, who seemed to be as expressive as an emotionless glacier; Bakugo Katsuki, whose name matched his explosive attitude; and Midoriya, just _Midoriya._ The boy was a late bloomer, but given that he appeared willing to break his body for a test, that might have been the only reason he hadn't destroyed himself already. There was no indication that Yakushi's Quirk had a pain-dulling factor, so how high was Midoriya's pain tolerance? More importantly, where had it come from?

Speaking of Midoriya, the boy had figured out how to sacrifice a finger instead of a limb. Now he could unmake himself in increments. Progress.

The throw was good. Yakushi followed up with a healing, pointing out that the test had ended. That brat was going to be a headache, not least because of his unhealthy loophole-finding tendencies. Unfortunately, even Yakushi displayed too much potential for him to justify expulsion, despite the fact that the brat had demonstrated a unconventional (remarkably heroic) attitude regarding the conflict between morals and the law (he heard that mutter).  
There had been no sabotage. Dammit. "That was a logical ruse to motivate you fully." He said flatly, "You all pass."

* * *

Kabuto resisted the urge to eye his sensei suspiciously. The man had pulled a standard Bell Test on twenty students instead of three, which didn't make sense. At all. There were too many people for an unanimous show of solidarity, and it wasn't as if Yuuei was forming a platoon. So it wasn't a Bell Test. Was it just a way to motivate students as claimed? Unlikely. Was it a change of heart? Unlikely. Why would twenty students be recruited if the intention was to expel one? 19 was a prime number, quite inconvenient when it came to team exercises. Besides, twenty was a nice, round number. It was counter-intuitive for people to believe that it would be whittled down to nineteen, making the odds of it being suspected to be a logical ruse higher. Or was it an excuse for sensei to expel any number of students by fiddling with their scores so that they all came last? Maybe.

As for his classmates. Shouto-san had an ice-quirk (sample preservation!) _and_ a fire-quirk (good for napping!), not to mention an Uchiha-esque countenance from a terrible father (at least Fugaku was just emotionally constipated, and had the excuse of pushy elders and Danzo) indicating that he was in need of true friendship, in the form of Izuku-san. Mum would want to send care packages to Shouto-san as well, given that she had been Endeavour's family doctor until she tried to accuse him of child abuse and got shut down by the HC. He should also get Shouto-san to reconcile with his mother as a birthday gift for mum -- maybe by enlisting Izuku-san's assistance?

Also, tell his parents' live-in stray neither-Kimimaro-nor-Itachi about Shouto's performance.

Not having to hide his talent at a schools should be a novel experience, but Plus Ultra, as they say.


	5. Orochimaru, Obfuscator of Origins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orochimaru talks down a "villain" while out shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I experiment with my ability to create tragic backstories out of nothing. The OCs I used were Sleepylococcus_offline's two, who, but for a quirk of fate, would have been heroes. They gone through a lifetime of Break the Cutie in this world though.

Orochimaru rather enjoyed the technology of the new world. If sensei hadn't wanted him to delve into the mysteries of dojutsu, he should have given him alternate means to achieve the same effects. Means which this reality quite willingly provided in the form of technological lovelies beyond measure. Also, funds. Securing funding had been an absolute nightmare until he had acquired enough seniority, but as the head of his hidden not-village, he was financially solvent, to say the least.

An abundance of resources meant he could take the time to browse for more lovelies. A slow motion camera this time, maybe? It was almost a shame that there weren't any ninjutsu users out there that he could steal from.

As he paid for his purchase and tucked it safely away, the door shattered. How convenient. His shopping was done, so his day was not particularly disrupted. It would be a matter of moments for him to subdue the child, and the attacker was a child, with little sense of strategy, clearly so, choosing to engage in destruction that could be easily seen from the streets. Even now a hero would be heading here to cause even more property damage in the process of subduing the "villain".

" **Give us your money**!" Hissed the cactus, in a curious, two toned voice. Orochimaru sighed. The shop was a perennial favorite, with excellent customer service and a wide, often-updated selection of goods to choose from, and he would not like it being closed. Nor would many others, the teenager who manned the till relied on his part-time job to keep himself fed, for one.

"Are you hungry?" He opened with a simple non-sequitur.

" **No**!" But the answer turned up into a question at the end.

"Thirsty? Cold? Hot? How are you?"

"….yes." It was a quiet whisper, but the child recovered admirably and growled " **Why do you care?** "

"I care." He said patiently, "Because there should be a reason why you are here, risking capture and arrest, when you should be elsewhere. I care, because you should not need to obtain money in this fashion. I care, because I wish to help."

" **Help**?" The child laughed, " **Help**?"

And there was a splatter, as a hole was ripped in their skin to release a coil of water. " **Help? Look at** ** _us_** **.** "

"I looked," He replied gently, "so what am I supposed to be seeing?"

" **Us!** " they snarled, " **Not human. Freaks! Abominations belong in a circus, they shouldn't have been born.  Useless things who have to be fed twice and need special clothing and cost too much money to keep!** "

"I don't see a monster, let alone two." He pointed out reasonably. "I see children. Brave, capable children who aren't at all worthless."

 **"Liar!** " They screamed, and the cactus grew countless sharp thorns that were flung at him by the water. He snatched them out of the air, but the second volley necessitated him to block with his body to prevent them from hitting anything else. His body's healing pushed the spikes out, where they joined the rest in his bag (samples!) but his clothes were a total loss.

"I still don't see any monsters."

" **Still?** " The two--conjoined twins, each with a different quirk?

"Still." He answered. "My name is Orochimaru. What are yours?"

" ** _Tane._** **Suiso** **.** ** _Saibaisho_** **."**

"A pleasure, Tane, Suiso. Would you like to come with me? I welcome you."

" **Yes.** "

And now was the time for the other window to break.

The Snake Sannin turned to face the late-coming hero. "And what," He asked acerbically, "are you here for?"

"Step aside sir, that's a villain."

"I most certainly don't realize it." He raised an eyebrow, "How are these two lovely youths felons, pray tell? They are vandals at the most, but I've been reliably informed that we all go through that phase in our youth."

The hero spluttered. "They committed public Quirk use and assault!"

"Really."

"You can't be serious! You're wounded, of course they committed assault!"

Orochimaru examined the tears on his sleeves. "I am experimenting with teenage 'fashion'. This, I believe, is called 'stressing', or 'tearing'. Do you think it fits?"

Still sputtering, the hero protested.

"I take that you agree with me then? Do give me your affirmation in writing, I need the proof for the newest batch of interns. No? Then off with you, and pay for those windows. Having a hero license does not excuse you from acting in accordance with common sense. Learn to come in through the door like a normal person, young man."

Turning to the cashier, he smiled warmly, "Bill me for the damages, Hana-chan. And thank you for the help."

"It was no trouble, Orochimaru-san," She looked down, "I heard what Tane and Suiso said, and I thought, what if it was me? They don't deserve jail."

" **Thank you. You are kind. Kinder than the world.** " the two whispered.

Hana waved shyly. "Good luck then, Tane, Suiso. I hope we meet again."

The man flagged a taxi to take him and the conjoined twins home.

Nono opened the door of their apartment. "Welcome." She said, stepping aside to let them in. "This is Oto. You are no longer soundless, for we hear you, and listen."


	6. Nono, Negotiator of Nuptials

Orochimaru was too self-possessed to glare at the wall. Nono, while too nice to glare, managed to convey the same sentiment.

"We are unfit guardians, it appears." She said mildly, "Since we are unmarried and yet living together."

"They claim that as a result, we are 'suspect'."

"Suspicious, indeed." Nono commented mildly, leaning against her partner at an angle perfect for watching his back. "I doubt that this is so much discrimination against us as much as it is our marital status, though indeed, given the state of this world, I am surprised that genetic relation does not count for more."

"Even so," Orochimaru said darkly,  "the cover Kabuto-kun elected to assume should mark us as the optimal guardians by virtue of being the only adequate teachers in utilizing his _Quirk_."

"Five and thirty years," Nono laughed softly, "And you still say quirk in the same way. Is it any wonder, Orochimaru, that they do not wish us to pass our inconvenient opinions onto the next generation, when our blood holds monopoly a strategic resource?"

"I would rather streamline the process of Kabuto-kun's adoption." Nono confessed, "Even if it means bending to our beloved government."

"This hassle could have been prevented if you let me take over the government." Her best friend sulked. "But imagine," Orochimaru said, amused, "If we were fruitful, and prospered, but no child of ours was of our blood. Their rage then."

"Marriage would not necessitate a change in our manner of life," Nono noted, "But it would smooth our way, and remove the hassle of turning down suitors. Besides, it comes with the benefit of allowing us to act as each other's next-of-kin." Catching Orochimaru's hand, she continued, "We are what we are, the name of a thing does not change its nature."

"Indeed." The Snake Sannin sighed. They were shinobi, prickly, suspicious, traumatized creatures trained to kill from the cradle. The bonds between them were far deeper and more complex than romance and marriage could define, dark things, trust forged from paths not taken, betrayals not enacted, and bribes not accepted; bright things too, bedrolls shared around campfires, watches volunteered for, grounding presences at each other's sides in a world with too little black and white.

"Think of it this way," Nono said lightly, "We are entering a legally binding roommate contract."

"That would do." Orochimaru smiled.

* * *

They failed to account for how much enthusiasm their colleagues had for their relationship.

Sumi, his First Minion, Lord of Legal, raised an eyebrow. "You are telling me to just file for a marriage license and get your marital status changed? Orochimaru-sama, on this matter, I'm exercising veto rights."

Nono winced, "We aren't in a relationship--"

"Bull. Shit. Yeah, I get that you aren't in a romantic relationship, but most of the org can see that you are in a relationship. You let each other into your labs and bring each other coffee! So, we're celebrating your union whether you like it or not--don't look at me like that, this way, you get loads of sappy pictures to wave around to incite public outrage with if you continue to get obstructed--and there will be public outrage, 'cus as of this moment--"

Sumi snapped and sent a picture of the note he had made with his quirk, "--your wedding is The Event of the year. Nono's ducklings will make sure of it. Cheer up, if it wasn't your wedding, you'd be saying the same thing. Come on, you taught us all this, Oro."

The pair's objections were bulldozed over by a cheerfully obstinate Sumi, who was followed up by seeming legions of others.

"Kay, Toad and Snake for Orochimaru's clothes, and Crane and Slug for Nono's? I've been sketching those motifs in my spare time for years. Pick the parts you like, we'll go from there."

"That is a dictionary-thickness book, not a scrapbook."

"I've been shipping it for years!"

"We need a large venue… Nono-sensei, our shrine can officiate, it's the least we can do in thanks for you helping to teach us the traditional dances!"

"Orochimaru-sensei, I got the message, we're creating a fireworks display. You requested violets and hemlock, of all things, but we're making it work."

"Nono-sensei, I told my boss about the wedding, she wants to cover it too. Do you think we can fit Tokyo  News reporters in?"

"Orochimaru-sensei, I don't care. You're locked out of the lab for the foreseeable future while we work on our theses and you focus on your non-scientific life. Don't turn into a cryptid before you turn sixty."

"Nono, you have a backlog of vacation days. Take a rest."

"Izanagi, it's Horus, heard you're marrying Izanami. Still dunno why you got the god's name while he got the goddess's name, but hope you turn out better than the myths. Sent a few classified documents, enjoy."

"Izanami, found the intel you wanted. It has something to do with the Yakuza renaissance, but White Collar crime bears further investigation."

 

# HAPPY ~~MARRIAGE~~  ROOMMATE AGREEMENT!


	7. Kabuto, Causer of Conniptons

Aizawa was tired. Yakushi was a brat who led other people into brattiness in a way that would keep them alive when they were out on the field. Those things were inexorably connected.

Design was still populated by perverted idiots who thought that giving people things that belonged in fetish flicks was reasonable. This year's costumes were disturbing. Sexualized rubbish for the girls, Kirishima's costume rivalling Midnight's when it came to the BDSM look, Bakugo's disturbingly villainous appearance, only accentuated by the domino/eyeliner.

At least those made sense in the context of their quirks. Todoroki's actively inhibited the his quirk in a glaring neon sign saying "Quirk Issues", and why was it that the only people to catch it before today were involved in Oto? After that, there were the standard personalities. Aoyoma, gah, sparkles. Tokoyami--brooding darkness, and Midoriya, homemade donkey ears. He could tell that the boy was trying to evoke All Might's signature hairstyle and grin with the gear, but the costume provided even less  protection than the standard UA uniform. On the other side of the spectrum was Yakushi, who's "costume" was modified special ops body armor with the contents of the tactical webbing replaced by medical supplies, and a white doctor's coat thrown over the ensemble as a concession to the fact that what he was wearing was a _costume_. The coat didn't make the boy stop looking disturbingly like a killer, it only turned the look from something from an action movie into something from a medical horror show. The grin and drawn scalpels didn't help.

Design had included a distressed note about how the costume request were terrifyingly technical, utterly utilitarian, and how someone had included an end note about how if they tried to alter it, Design would be testing its functionality under live fire.

* * *

Bakugo was put on opposite sides with Midoriya. Nothing good came of the matchup, and Yakushi automatically healed Midoriya afterwards.

Others turned out normally, until Yakushi, who was partnered with Hagakure. The utter and absolute brat was on the villain's team and playing it up even more than Iida. Then he backstabbed his partner, "surrendered" to the heroes after making up a tragic backstory involving invisible cake, then backstabbed the heroes again when Hagakure turned out to not have been incapacitated at all since Yakushi had used medical tape to fake her being captured by the capture tape with a slight of hand. The villain duo had the time of their lives acting out their characters as they tied up the unfortunate Kaminari and Ojiro.

What had Yakushi's life been like?

Villain Team won, after using dishonorable tactics that had All Might sweating.


	8. Dabi, Avatar of Amaterasu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Endeavor gets burned. Only figuratively, sadly.

"Oh shut up." Dabi said irritably to the groaning man on the floor, "Those burns aren't even second-degree."

The best thing about Oto was that while everyone was given the strength to stand alone, they didn't need to, from the orphans taken under Sound's wing to the tireless fighters at its highest levels. Meaning that while Nono could certainly deal with the irritant that barged in the clinic, he'd do so for her and let the doctor rest.

Naturally, when villains barged in, heroes followed after, causing even more property damage. He heard the roar of flames before he actually saw the man they were emitted from. Endeavor. The old man himself.

"Yo." Dabi waved lazily, propping his feet up on the table. Nono would forgive him if he was doing it to fuck up the old man. "You're late. Oh, and stop being a ridiculous blowtorch, are you blind?" He pointed at the sign of a crossed out burning match. "No open flames, including yours. There're highly flammable substances here, and my parents would never forgive you if you ignite a solvent or denature a vaccine or something."

Comprehension seemed to dawn on the nominal hero, as he saw the wounds on the moaning villain and looked past the dyed hair, burnt skin, and lazy sprawl. "Touya." Endeavor growled, "So you didn't end up on the streets. Instead, you took up with these degenerates."

"Who's Touya?" Dabi asked innocently, "I'm Dabi. You must be oxygen-deprived, Endeavor, if you're mistaking me for someone called Touya. Are you sure you feel okay? You should lie down and get checked up--I'm sure mom'll pull out the biggest needles we have."

The man's flaming mustache flared up even more, "Touya," he snarled, "I've put up with your ridiculous rebellion--"

"--Mom! Parent! There's a crazy asylum escapee calling me Touya!" Dabi called, grinning, "We need the extra-strength size XX straitjacket and a line to the nearest mental hospital!"

On silent feet, his parent emerged from somewhere. Dabi never managed to see them. "Why," smiled Orochimaru, "This is the Flame Hero, Endeavor. Shouldn't you be doing your job and not causing harm to us who it's your job to protect? Our tiles are melting, as are our pipes. Stop inconveniencing our lives. I would ask you to die, but that appears unlikely."

The serpent lifted a long-fingered hand to wave dismissively at Endeavor, long black hair brushing over a violet-covered shoulder.

"YO--" Endeavor took a deep breath, visibly composing himself, "Si-Ma-Whatever, I found my son here. Would you care to explain why he's here?"

"So you do have a fever." Came a cold voice from the hallway. Nono, dressed in blood-spattered white, pulled her hair up as she spoke. "I wonder what it is a symptom of. A malignant tumor? Dengue? If it were not for its infectiousness, I would hope that you are suffering from Ebola. Kami knows that you deserve it, Todoroki Enji."

"You."

"Me." Said the mistress of medicine, "It has been a long time since our last crossing, abuser."

Todoroki glared, "If you weren't barely on this side of the law--"

"Only barely?" Orochimaru cut in, amused. "Why, we are practically model citizens. We help the weak and heal the hurt, teach the young and give comfort to the old, supporting those who need it, and giving hope to those who have none. Kabuto-kun's even gone on to take an even more active role in improving society--he's going to Yuuei to advocate for reform. When was the last time you did anything productive for society, instead of spawning more grudges and forgetting that Rei is a person, not your property, and thus setting a poor example for all the youth of Japan?"

"He's a hero?" Dabi asked, "I hadn't noticed. Don't be silly, parent, Endeavor is setting an excellent example for all us young people--of what not to do, of course, but come on, it's pretty easy to look at a thing, think 'what would Endeavor do?', then do anything but that!"

"Oh," He added, "And get the fuck out of this place or I'll prosecute you for breaking and entering too."

He idly poked the pile of to-be-destroyed papers with a fire-tipped finger, the blue flames easily turning the whole lot into fine ash without causing any harm to his body. He had come a long way from those first days free.

* * *

Touya muffled a cough in his sleeve, grimacing at the smell-taste of charred fabric. His shirt was falling to pieces, just like his body, but at least its shape was still intact. He leaned against the alley wall. Just for a moment, he promised himself, he wouldn't die here, not when he still hadn't stuck it to the old man.

The next thing he knew was a face leaning into his space. "Hey." Said the black-haired woman worriedly, "Are you alright?"

"Fuck off." He tried to growl, but with his current condition, it came off more like a groan.

"Yeah, thought so." The woman snorted, "I'll leave you here to starve and die of infection then."

He glared at her from half-shut eyes. "Go away."

"Not planning to."

"Stop taunting me and go."

"Fine, I'm going."

He stared incredulously. In a smooth move, she tossed her cloak over his bony frame and dragged him to his feet, wrapping him up like he was an unruly cat. "Did I say anything about leaving you here though?" She asked cheerfully as he hissed and spat. "You can’t say you don't need a few meals in ya and a shitload of bandages."

He most certainly could, but somehow, she managed to drag him through the red-light district, past a small-scale standoff, and finally into a rundown apartment. He was deposited on the world's most eye-sore couch. It was garish, but surprisingly squashy.

"Call me Cassandra." She said, as she washed tomatoes and chopped onions. "You?"

"Touya. Who the fuck are you and why the fuck are you doing this? Is this some sort of weird fucking pedo sex thing?"

"Just trying to get you on your feet." She shrugged, "You remind me of someone. First-aid kit's in the bathroom, closet's got something in your size, I think, maybe not. Anyway, take a look around. Mi casa, su casa an' all that."

Touya wasn't sure whether or not the woman was telling the truth, but he untangled himself from the coat, and well, things couldn't get worse, and there might be clues about the woman in the house--no--apartment.

He found the closet. There was a huge variety of clothes. Plain work clothes, jumpsuits, pantsuits, disturbingly short skirts, evening dress, a fur, and even an ornate kimono or two that the woman definitely shouldn't be able to afford if she was living in the slums. Further searching turned out a halfway decent pair of pants too short at the ankle and a shirt a size too small. After a moment's hesitation, Touya took a jacket as well. It was decent, though a bit flowery smelling.

A savory smell drifted through the apartment. His stomach rumbled in response.

"Dinner!" The woman called. He went to investigate. Western-style spaghetti, with a salad on the side.

What the hell. The woman served both of them huge plates of food, digging in without bothering to say itadakimatsu, and he followed her, shoving forkfuls of the rich food into his mouth without a care for manners, forcing himself to keep it down when his stomach tried to revolt. He needed the calories.

The woman finished before him and set her plate in the sink. "Help yourself if you want seconds," She said, "I'm off to put the water on and get the supplies out."

Cassandra came back into the kitchen/living room with a giant plastic bag and an absolute monster of a first-aid kit.

"Right, let's see your burns."

She worked in silence, cleaning out wounds with saline, producing ointment from a lower level and a half-full bottle of liquid bandages from a row of them, and sticking normal band-aids on his scrapes with the ease of long practice. "Alright." She announced, "Now go shower and change, your hair's greasy enough to be Snape's."

For some reason, he obeyed her.

* * *

He stayed with Cassandra for a couple of days, but then she got a call. Hanging up, she turned to him, face grim. "My holiday's over." She said grimly, handing him a card, "Odds are that I won't be coming back for months. You can stay here for as long as you like, but I think this place'll get burned down in a gang war. If that happens, go to this address and say that Cassandra sent you. Sound will help."

* * *

He clutched the wrinkled paper as he knocked on the door.

A man (woman?) opened it.

"Hello, Touya-kun." He said. "I'm Orochimaru. Cassandra sent you, I believe. Do come in, but please be quiet, my wife's asleep."

"I was told that you could help."

"I can." Orochimaru replied evenly. "Tell me what you need."

Too many things. A new name. An identity. Power. Vengeance. Everything came tumbling out, the burns, the fights, Endeavor's "training", his mother crying, Shouto's quirk manifesting.

Orochimaru listened attentively. Once Touya finished, he nodded slowly. "Do you have any short-term arrangements then?"

Touya shook his head.

"Kabuto-kun." Orochimaru said softly, "Would you mind waking your mother? This is a family decision."

"Sure thing!" Came a voice out of nowhere. Touya caught the hint of white disappearing behind a corner, but that was that.

"Tea?" Orochimaru offered, producing a pot.

Touya nodded dumbly, and was just accepting a mug when a vaguely familiar woman came in, followed by a young boy. "Yakushi-sensei?"

The woman had treated his burns during his childhood with a gentle touch of luminescent green light and a sweet afterwards, until Endeavor stomped off in more of a hissy fit than usual one month and the next time he was hurt, he was taken to an old man instead.

Yakushi-sensei smiled sadly, "Hello, Touya-kun. I'm sorry I wasn't able to save you or your family."

"Don't," he swallowed thickly, "Don’t be. At least you tried. And I'm not Touya anymore."

Yakushi-sensei nodded. "Alright, then who do you want to be?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure."

"Would you mind being part of our family then?"

"I've always wanted a brother." The silver-haired boy said, lying upside-down on the back of the couch, "And my parents have an adoption addiction. Name's Kabuto, by the way. Come on, join us, you won't even have a bedtime!"

He looked at Yakushi-sensei and Orochimaru. Both were smiling invitingly.

"Yes." He agreed.

"Then all that remains is deciding what to put on your papers." Orochimaru shrugged, "I, personally, am in favor of Amaterasu."

"Orochimaru." Yakushi-sensei said reproachfully. His eyes automatically flickered to Orochimaru, who simply pouted.

"Itachi?" Kabuto suggested with a grin.

"Kabuto." Orochimaru sighed.

"Tsukiyomi?" Yakushi-sensei asked, raising an eyebrow at the two.

"Mom!"

"Nono!"

"Dabi." Dabi stated firmly, because if they didn't blink at gods' names, they wouldn't blink at his.

"Why not?" Yakushi-sensei smiled. "Welcome, Dabi. Call me Nono."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra's a codename, by the way. Her quirk's Cassandra Truth, AKA anything true that she says won't be believed. Doesn't work with the written word, but note how nothing she says is an objective truth. Orochimaru helped her realize what her quirk was when everyone thought that she was a lying psychopathic brat, and Nono taught her to communicate despite that. She's working in black ops, same organization as Nono and Orochimaru. (Codenames all come from myths: Horus, Izanagi, Izanami, Cassandra, Chiron etc.)


	9. Kabuto, Procurer of Pets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, Kabuto, you shouldn't name your pet Noumu Enji, it'll develop a complex.

"I'm not the medic." Kabuto complained at the villains. Sakura-san had spent most of her life defying the stereotype that medics stayed to the sidelines, while mother never had the chance to be anywhere but on the battlefield (espionage totally counted). "I don't care what Needs-a-Bath-Scratchyhands says. Look at me, I'm clearly the _thief_." (of lives, and Samples!)

But mother's creed was that, being a medic, first and foremost, one was expected to utilize any and all means at one's disposal to ensure the health and safety of one's patients. In this case, Aizawa-sensei, whose health and safety was clearly in danger. The villains weren't good listeners though. They rudely blocked his way and refused to give him feedback, which meant he was perfectly justified taking the most efficient path towards his goal.

Precise application of lethal force cleared the former S-Rank a path through the rabble, just in time to touch the tips of his fingers on Eraserhead's face. Being from a doujutsu-obssessed world, healing sensei-'s eyes was easy. Hopefully, Midoriya-san wouldn't follow him. But given the wide variety of specimens in front of him, and the sad fact that he had no way to get a tissue biopsy (mist fragment?) from the portal-quirked man, Kabuto had sadly turned his eyes from the most fascinating of the enemies (taking samples from them wasn't morally reprehensible!) to the less. Since his sensible, sensible mother had made sure he wore protective gear, most projectiles and glancing punches were dispersed by the armor, and even when he didn't quite manage to dodge a blow (the lack of gathering chakra to forewarn attacks was a bit of a headache), he remained unhurt.

* * *

The barest brush of fingers brought Eraserhead's dry eyes sudden relief and clarity. He jerked away from the opponent who had managed to sneak up on him to see Yakushi, already back into the thick of the fray, a trail of corpses leading from the side to where Aizawa had stood, and a few unconscious bodies already piled at the boy's feet.

The brat had the sheer audacity to wink at him, fearless more out of confidence than arrogance, as he avoided blows with the minimum of movement, dodged attacks so smoothly that they appeared to pass through him, and continued to blatantly not take anything seriously as he stopped to take samples from downed villains, absentmindedly moving out of the way of attacks from increasingly scared assailants.

As Shouta jumped into the air again, he realized what Yakushi was doing. His target was the group at the top, and while the boy (inexplicably) could clearly handle the minor thugs-for-hire, the three at the top were clearly a different matter. He shouted for his student to stop, but it was too late--Kabuto had taken a running leap that brought him onto the dark thing's back, and he used his momentum to swing onto its shoulders and jab a syringe into it neck. That wouldn't work, the thing's super-healing would take care of any tranquilizer or poison the boy could possibly have, and the boy would be caught off guard and killed--Shouta desperately focused his eyes on the thing, hoping against hope that he would manage to erase the quirk in question, but miraculously, after Kabuto leapt off the goliath, it toppled, frozen, and began an endless cycle of twitching, freezing and convulsing then twitching again. What had the boy done?

His student ignored Shigaraki's scream of rage as he approached the downed beast casually. Back turned, he did something, then smirked, "Hey Shigaraki! To the winner goes the spoils. Your Noumu's mine now. Told you I was a thief!"

The boy touched the Noumu's exposed brain. "Up and at them, Enji!" He cheered.

To everyone's shock, the Noumu, which had been named Enji, apparently, obeyed.

Yakushi had named the Noumu Enji. If there had been any doubt about whether his mother's grudge had been inherited, it had been put to rest.

* * *

Shouta was done.

* * *

Yakushi was, among other things, far too well acquainted with the first responders, begging sweets off one of the drivers and switching his dirty white coat for a fresh one as he pulled on latex gloves and joined them in providing medical attention, un-pulverizing Midoriya's arms, getting Todoroki hot chocolate from someone, and somehow managing to treat Hagakure's scrapes and scratches despite not being able to see her.

All was well, until someone tried to take the Noumu into custody.

"Come on sensei!" Yakushi whined, "It wasn't Enji's fault that he got ordered around by two evil villains! He's innocent! They're just going to lock him up and forget about him and Enji doesn't deserve that!"

One of the paramedics choked.

Yakushi continued, "Please? I promise to feed him once a day, clean up after him, and get him his exercise! Besides, you heard Shigaraki, I'm a squishy medic! I'm helpless! Enji can be my meatshield!"

Shouta pointedly did not look at the neat line of dead bodies from Yakushi's hand, or the larger collection of groaning bleeding villains that was their shared work. Which reminded him, "Yakushi, what was in your syringe?"

"Will you let me keep Enji if I tell you?"

"Anything that can keep Enji down is a dangerous substance, Yakushi. Dispose of it, then maybe."

"It's air, sensei." Yakushi sighed. "Just plain air, nothing more, nothing less. Injected into Enji's bloodstream, it caused a stroke, and since it wasn't an object, it couldn't be pushed out. His healing might have found a bypass in time, but the healing isn't intelligent, and it was tied up in keeping Enji alive."

There was something very wrong with Oto. And even so, it remained one of the halfway decent entities in Japan. He needed to plan for the PTA meeting. Joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you think Shouta could have been majorly hurt when the medic who rivals Tsunade is present?  
> Also, they kept the Noumu. Dadzawa is helpless when it comes to refusing the requests of his kids. Kabuto, little shit that he is, definitely knows it.  
> And Kabuto put a genjutsu on Enji so that he would hear everything Kabuto said on Shigaraki’s voice, and dismiss Real!Shigaraki’s commands.


	10. Endeavor, Epitome of Error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Endeavor's mental monologue is disgusting, he gets perpetually ignored, the Snakes Comically Miss the Point, and Shinsou Hitoshi gets introduced. Also, fun with acronyms.  
> Endeavor calling LGBTQ+ people abnormalities is in no way endorsed by the author, and he does it because he's a Flaming Pile of Garbage. As Dabi says, think what Endeavor would do, then do anything but that.

One of the worst things about Yuuei was how it pandered to civilian parents, holding this joke of a emergency parent-teacher conference the night after the USJ attack. There was no point in wasting time informing civilians about matters beyond their expertise and allowing them to complain and interfere with the training of their offspring, and there was the further annoyance of the men and women reverting to a puerile state and swarming him and further delaying the start of the meeting.

"Endeavor." An unfortunately familiar voice came from the doorway--the woman, dressed in a white suit, hand on the shoulder of the kimono-clad …abnormality. She looked at him contemptuously, and he felt an irrational burst of embarrassment over his predicament, quickly smothered by rage.

"I see that you have chosen to hide your complete lack of taste by wearing that clownish battle outfit to a parent-teacher conference."

"You." He growled, "Why are you here at this hero school?"

"Our son, Kabuto, studies here as well," said the abnormality in reply, obviously suppressing a laugh at his expense, "Or do you think us such terrible parents as to not pay attention to our children's education?"

The pair chose two desks by the window, somehow communicating hostility towards him while putting up a façade of being doting parents to the civilians, somehow successfully calming the needlessly panicked men and women about the state of their children, the doctor more than her hus--spou--partner.

But that was to be expected. If Todoroki Rei had been ice, then Yakushi Nono was water. Where Rei had been initially resistant and hard like ice, she had been brittle, shattering too easily and retreating into a glacial shell. Nono was seemingly soft, like water, but there was a toughness to that woman, as well as terrifying levels of adaptability. Despite her deceptively gentle demeanor, she was hard, unyielding, and fought with a viciousness that rivalled most villains when pushed. He had thought her to be an excellent choice for a family doctor, young and female and therefore more acceptable to Rei and less likely to instigate anything untoward, not to mention less capable of causing anything unmanageable. Background checks had found Nono to be excellent, with near-perfect scores from the top schools in the country and praises sung by most teachers she came into contact with. The Heroics Commission had even made an offer to her, to be firmly turned down as the woman seemed not to have the stomach for frontline work and instead preferred to pursue a career in medicine.

However, while on paper, the woman had been perfect, he had found her to be (politely) opinionated and excessively nosy. Endurable, until she reacted to the matter of his sons' training with an attempt at a lawsuit. It failed, of course, and she should have been discredited and ruined for life. Yet, either by leaning on the influence of the effeminate creature or some other sort of dealing, she had managed to resurface and rise to the forefront of her profession, leading to the inconvenient reality of him having cultivated a somewhat influential and highly motivated enemy. Whose offspring was in the same class as his son--he vaguely recalled a scandal approximately ten years ago regarding the only survivor of the unsolved Hyotan Labs massacre and the custody case that followed--the boy had been called something along the lines of hat, or was it helmet?

He forced himself to keep half an ear open and listen to the drivel about security, assurances of the students' safety, and the necessity of the Sports Festival despite the USJ attack, during which his son had performed admirably, but without using his fire side despite the real-life threat of attacking riffraff. He could only hope that the abilities of his boy's classmates and the pressure of publicity would persuade the boy to cease his childish recalcitrance.

Thinking about one son had brought to mind the other, less tractable one. Touya had somehow taken up with the organization that styled itself "Otogakure" and its heads. The threat of the pair exerting their malign influence over his most important son through their own progeny was high, but the media scrutiny of transferring his son out on the eve of the Sports Festival would be high, and would only rise higher afterwards, until the potential negative PR would tie his hands. He had directed his agency to investigate Touya's alias "Yakushi Dabi", but so far, aside from a veritable mountain of letters in their inbox signed with the name, as well as a presence in a discreet law school, there had been no sign of the boy, and the investigation had been stalled at every turn. It was as if "Otogakure's" influence had seeped in every crack and crevice of the system.

* * *

Once the farce of the meeting was finally over, Eraserhead called for both him and the Yakushis to stay behind.

"Endeavor," He said tiredly, "There's also a small matter involving your given name and En--the USJ Noumu. It mostly involves Yakushi Kabuto, which is why I asked you to stay, Yakushi-san, Yakushi-san."

"Oh?" asked the abnormality, "What has Kabuto done this time?"

Eraserhead looked even more exhausted at that, "He has claimed the Noumu in question as a pet, and refuses to release it into custody. Furthermore, he has mobilized the entire class, including Bakugo, to protect the thing, and they've set up a round-the-clock guard to prevent the police from taking it away discreetly."

The underground hero showed them his phone, on which was displayed a soundless video of class 1-A clustered around the beaked black giant and engaging in miscellaneous activities, most of which involved the Noumu. To his surprise, his son was participating as well, throwing a ball of ice for the Noumu to catch and eat.

"Really?" The doctor produced a notepad and pulled the pen from her bun, "Can Kabuto and his classmates manage the Noumu's care and feeding? I am unfamiliar with its physiology, but I presume that its caloric intake…"

The abnormality, Orochimaru ignored both heroes to start scribbling with his wife.

"--That was not what I meant," Eraserhead sighed, "While focusing on caring for the Noumu has indeed kept the children from focusing on the trauma of the attack, it still remains that they are refusing to surrender evidence and obstructing an ongoing investigation. More importantly, the Noumu is, as far as our best guess goes, a synthesized biological weapon, which UA's facilities are not capable of containing, and while it is currently docile, we have no way of predicting whether or not it will attack, therefore, it is a threat to our students safety. So far, Kabuto has not been open to persuasion, although he has been attempting to exhort us for better scientific facilities, and we were hoping that you, as his parents, might be able to talk some sense into him."

Endeavor had enough of being ignored. He cut in, "Why am I here then?"

"Well…" Eraserhead winced, "Kabuto named the Noumu Enji."

The fire pouring off him exploded.

He was greeted with Orochimaru tucking a small sensor into his wife's bag when he forced a lid on his anger.

"Well," the abnormality said, "Kabuto's new pet seems reasonable enough. I'm sure we can establish a few failsafes, either via technological means or a quirk? My wife and I would need to examine it to ascertain exactly what it can subsist on, given that I doubt it photosynthesizes, and synthetic creatures rarely have the same dietary needs as standard humans."

"I approve of the name," the woman noted mildly, "'Enji' needs to have some positive connotations attached to it before it turns into another 'Adolf', and given that it is a rather nice name, I'd rather not have it lost to notoriety. If that's all, Aizawa-sensei, may we leave? Isolating the correct chemical structure for Enji's meals will take time, and while I'm certain that glucose will tide Enji over for the first day or so, we really must hurry."

To add insult to injury, none of the other occupants of the room protested her use of the name.

* * *

Kabuto hummed idly. He had found the firewalls suspiciously fragile when he went through them with his phone, and a quick search in the student files had found him a two useful assets--one mad engineer, and one pseudo-Shisui.

Pseudo-Shisui was closer, which was why he was sneaking a visit to General Studies.

Purple hair and eyebags. Nara-esque posture. Target locked.

"Hitoshi-san?"

"Who's asking?"

"Yakushi Kabuto, 1-A. I need your help. Please?"

"Hero Studies?"

"Evidently." Kabuto shrugged, "And we just nearly got killed. Which is why I need your help."

"What'll you give?"

"Connections, study sessions, the inside scoop on gossip, and how to negotiate properly, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and free access to my mom's bentos, though I doubt you'd like them--mom's only good at baking."

Hitoshi-san (it was odd, how surnames were far more varied and less sensitive than Konoha, where half the population were Clans and the other half wouldn't use a surname and make it easier for avengers for the life of them) considered, then grunted out, "Fine."

"Excellent. Welcome to plan SENIP, AKA Stop! Enji the Noumu Is a Pet!"

"That acronym spells penis if you switch the S and P around."

"We're teenagers, what do you expect? Besides, Hitoshi-san, I wanted it to be Stop! A Pet Is the Noumu Enji\--SPINE, but that's not very good English."

"…I have lost my respect for the Hero Course."

"Did you ever have it?"

"…Point."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, note that Endeavor never uses Shouto's name, it's always "his son" or "the boy", etc. I'm trying to use this to show that the Trashbag doesn't see Shouto as an individual person. Contrast the Snakes, who always use Kabuto's name. (Nono's a spy, she knows the value of a name)


	11. Izanagi, Inducer of Issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three OCs in one sitting!

" Izanami?" A young woman with a military buzzcut and a lip stud strode towards the heart of the campsite. Addressing Nono, she continued, "Word around camp is that you're good with kids. We found this one wandering the wilds on patrol, he's pretty weird. Could you and, uh, Izanagi help with this?"

"Certainly." Said Orochimaru(codename: Izanami), "I'm Izanami. My partner is Izanagi."

The young woman winced and scratched the back of her head, "Ah, sorry, I thought Izanami was a goddess and assumed. I'm Mnemosyne. I don't know if you guys are particular about your IDs or not, but my real name's Takahashi Kiko, quirk's Hindsight, and I'm from Japan, and gotta admit, it's nice to see a few Asian faces around here."

Izanagi shrugged, "I think that I would rather keep my streetside identity secret for now. Izanami?"

"The same." Izanami replied, rising to his feet in a fluid, languid motion, "Shall we proceed, Mnemosyne?"

"Kay." Mnemosyne said, and turned to go. The pair followed.

They arrived to the curious sight of a spoon being manipulated by misty tendrils to shovel soup beneath two pastel orange holes in a denser, vaguely boy-shaped cloud of mist dressed in a faded and dirty bright orange tee, neon green cargo shorts, and a pair of yellow rainboots, with a over-sized reflective vest thrown over the whole ensemble.

"Kid was seriously hungry." Mnemosyne elaborated, "We found him trying to dig up Kan-Loan's trash-pits. He refuses to tell us anything about his parents or village or faction, so we can't even try to return him. His name's Aamusnaan, but no one knows a kid by that name. Could you help us with this?"

Izanami had already settled himself seiza.

It was a profound bit of awkwardness when further investigation showed that Aamusnaan, his meaning silence in Somali, had a quirk that erased all signs of his presence in a set radius. And that his father, seeking to free his son of that curse, had allowed himself to be employed by All for One. In short, Otogakure has Kurogiri's son in its care. Kabuto knows.


	12. Teaser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teaser for the chapter to be posted this weekend. Also, looking for a beta. Anyone interested?

Shigaraki's response to defeat was even worse than could be expected. He threw a glass at the wall. It disintegrated midair. "The heroes cheated!" He seethed, "They had a Mutt! The Cleric was an Assassin! That isn't even a Hero Class!"

"Yakushi Kabuto" Kurogiri clarified, "Our spy describes him as charismatic and kind, but he showed no hesitation when it came to using lethal force, and at a level of skill equaling Eraserhead's."

"Curious indeed." Said Sensei, "Lethal and trained… That suggests a less than Heroic upbringing. Did our spy provide any information on Yakushi-kun's past?"

"Yes." Confirmed Kurogiri, "And we have conducted research. His father is Yakushi Orochimaru, notorious for almost single-handedly reviving the taboo fields of quirk research and genetic spicing, then  training up a clutch of equally capable students. His mother is Yakushi Nono, infamous for trying bring Endeavor to court for child abuse. Failing, she disappeared with Orochimaru, who she met at University, for five years. Gilan managed to turn up records of digital communications during that period, but there was nothing about where they were or what they were doing. Resurfacing afterwards, they simultaneously turned their network of acquaintances into the NGO 'Otogakure', and became the rising stars of their professions. Interestingly enough, between training students and building ties to influential government figures, they also created a non-profit clinic that has a reputation for being neutral territory and for treating anyone who comes in its doors. Gilan confirmed that neutrality is enforced to the point that it is used as a negotiating ground in the Underworld, given that even Heroes are not permitted to come to apprehend criminals and, Sensei…"

"Yes?"

"That 'anyone' includes villains as well as gang members."

"Interesting…."


	13. Nono, Neutral of Narratology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nono gets (temporarily) kidnapped by All For One.  
> The Wandering Miko (read: real-life Black Widow) vs two-hundred-year-old Kingpin of Crime.  
> The Miko wins, obviously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cadaalada: meaning "justice" in Somali. Or so Google tells me. It was a tossup between that and peace.

"Yakushi-sensei."

Nono gently nestled the last of the inoculations into its place, then closed the door of the fridge, stepped away from the valuables, and turned. The individual who had spoken had a man's voice, a few shades deeper than Aamusnaan's, with a body of dark purple mist and eyes that were gold instead of vermillion. And he had teleported into her clinic--he did not stay on the right side of the law. Orochimaru had gone off to the labs after the conference, while she came back to finish her shift at the clinic. It was fortunate that Dabi was not present.

"Hello, may I help you?" Nono asked.

The mist man gave a bow, "Not I, Yakushi-sensei, but my employer is quite interested in your services."

"Indeed? And may I have your name?"

"I am Kurogiri."

Not-quite-a-lie. The changed pattern of Cadaalada's mists' billowing betrayed him. In some ways, the father was quite like the son.

"Then Kurogiri-san," Nono said evenly, "let us not waste my break equivocating. Like many others before you, you are scouting me on the behalf of your employer to ascertain whether I am to be trusted with healing a denizen of the underworld. Allow me to be blunt: I am. I am a physician, and I hold to my oaths, including doctor-patient confidentiality and the Hippocratic commandment to not cause harm to those I treat. However, while I am capable of performing trauma surgery in any location, if your employer requires my assistance, I assure you, it will be best received in a major hospital, where I have access to abundant resources. The consumables and equipment in my clinic are intended to be used for the disadvantaged, and I will not have you taking advantage of charity."

Kurogiri sighed apologetically, "I'm afraid that the circumstances surrounding my employer render a visit to the hospital quite beyond consideration."

Then the employer was a villain, not a mob boss, and currently wanted. It would explain why Aamusnaan's father could not be found, if he had been deep in the underworld all these years. The employer was either extraordinarily powerful or extraordinarily irrelevant. Given the value of Kurogiri's quirk, it was likely the former.

"I understand." Nono said professionally, "Then I presume you have access to the resources necessary?"

"You will be provided with anything and everything you require, Yakushi-sensei," Kurogiri assured her, "And you shall be paid in full."

"Excellent. I shall pen an appointment."

"My employer is willing to pay for priority service." The mist-man added.

"This is non-negotiable." The doctor answered coolly, "I presume that your employer's condition is a non-emergency, given that we have been negotiating for the past five minutes. I will not postpone time-sensitive treatment for no reason. Your employer can wait until seven, at which point I will be able to spare the time for a interview. Now, if you will excuse me, my break is over."

She pointedly washed her hands.

Kurogiri inclined his head, signaling acquiescence. "Then may I stay until that time?"

It was a test, to see if she would attempt to get him away so as to inform relevant authorities. The Wandering Miko was not inexperienced enough for that. "Feel free." She said brusquely, "But stay out of the way."

* * *

Middle ear infections, broken bones, an inside-out incident with a quirk, a case of gas inhalation, two drug overdoses and the mediation of a domestic dispute later, it was seven.

Kurogiri conjured a portal. "If you would, Yakushi-sensei?"

The only person on the other side was a featureless creature in a suit, with a ventilator mask over his face. The subject spoke, "Yakushi-sensei, it is an honor to meet you at last."

She inclined her head. "I am flattered by your regard. Are you my patient?"

The man chuckled, "I should hope so. You have a reputation as a miracle worker, Yakushi-sensei, and I believe I am in need of a miracle."

"Indeed." She said dryly, "So let us begin. Medical history, age, quirk? And what may I call you?"

"I prefer the moniker 'sensei' as well." The man replied, "But I imagine that it would make things awkward. Please, call me Ichirou. Tsubasa, my physician, will be along shortly with my medical files. As to the rest…is it possible for me to refrain? Much of the information you asked is somewhat…ah…sensitive."

Nono sighed in exasperation, "I respect doctor-patient-confidentiality, even when it goes against the law, Ichirou-san. However, I can not in good conscience conduct treatment without a full understanding of your condition. Otherwise, given that I will be using my quirk, your body's quirk-related adaptions will be altered, the unwitting activation of a stray section of DNA could cause the growth of unwanted minor appendages, and if we are particular unfortunate, cancer."

"What you are asking for is still rather excessive, Yakushi-sensei," Kurogiri portested politely, "Surely you are skilled enough not to require--"

"--It's alright, Kurogiri," Ichiro cut in gently, "I would not want to trouble Yakushi-sensei unnecessarily, given that I am asking so much of her already."

"My quirk," said the man, addressing Nono directly, is called Give and Take. I can take quirks from others or give them different ones. As a result, a combination of donated mutation quirks have allowed me to survive my injuries, although, as you can see, they do not work as well as one could hope.'

The medic-nin blinked, "I can't imagine the effect on your genetic code."

"It will be a journey of discovery then." Said Ichiro, tone wry. And wasn't that a surprise, a two-hundred-year-old criminal being somewhat genuinely self-deprecating (There had only been one person in the world with a quirk that could affect other quirks that way, and it was the villain who named himself All For One).

There was a knock on the door at her back, which the crime lord was facing (as expected, the man would never leave his back open).

Kurogiri answered the door. In entered a man with a sheaf of folders.

Nono spoke first to take the initiative. Giving a shallow bow, she asked, "Doctor Tsubasa, I presume?"

The man gave her a much deeper bow in return and said, "Yes, Doctor Yakushi. It is an honor to be able to work with a legend in the field."

The doctor raised an eyebrow, "Then I believe we should begin."

Half an hour later, she was finished with the preliminaries.

"Your injuries are quite severe." She began.

"I noticed." Ichirou shot back dryly.

"And most, if not all, were caused by kinetic force. Your immune system is severely damaged, and that has not been helped at all by side-effects of the drugs you were given afterwards. Your quirk, Give and Take, is not the best thing to have when you are like this, even if it's the only reason you are alive. Every time you recieve or donate, your genetic code changes, and that is do no favors for your body. That is why I will be taking control of the process and commanding them against their natural inclinations. Now, are you intending to use your quirk during the next nine months?"

"I'm afraid circumstances prevent me from abstaining." Ichirou said apologetically. Nono filed the possibility of attacks by the kingpin away in her mind.

She nodded and replied crisply, "Then we'll have to extend the treatment period to a year, minimum. I will have to recalibrate treatments in response to every change in your DNA, so I would appreciate it if you kept a diary of each time you use Give and Take."

"I understand, but forgive me if I am wrong, haven't you produced results in far less time?"

"This case is different." The Wandering Miko replied honestly.

"Given what Tsubasa-sensei has told me, I will be unable to create tissue cultures without you using Give and Take to regulate your collection of different quirks, meaning that while I can certainly get the culture to take, it will turn into a cancerous growth almost immediately. I'm sorry I can't do more, but while your self-healing may accelerate the process, I will have to adjust for it as well, and while we may pray to the kami for a miracle, I doubt that they will answer."

"That is still far more than I could have imagined, Yakushi-sensei." All for One said gravely, "To be able to experience the world again in all its fullness, to see, and taste, and smell…to wait one year is quite brief, compared to eternity."

Nono willed a blush onto her cheeks, "I am unworthy of such regard." She said. It was fortunate that All For One, being reclusive as he was, was out of practice with manipulating those who did not already revere him. Then, changing the subject with deliberate clumsiness, she continued, "I will be doing a few biopsies now. Doctor Tsubasa…?"

 


	14. Manda, Messenger of Misfortune

Nedzu was vaguely aware that, as a rodent, being in alone in a secured room with the serpentine-mannered Orochimaru was not one of his most intelligent ideas. That Orochimaru had not blinked since they had locked the door did nothing to relieve him of his worries.

"You believe the school to be compromised." Orochimaru repeated, "And you wish to employ our services in ferreting out the spy."

"Ye, Orochimaru-san." Nedzu wanted to shift under the detached reptilian gaze, "I am aware of the abilities that Otogakure has and the services it offers. I would be vey grateful if you would accept the task."

The former lab experiment knew better than to threaten the student in his school, nor was he at all inclined to. So he risked, "I would have gone through the proper channels to contract the job, Izanami-san, but with the current lack of information security, I felt that something unconventional would have the highest odds of avoiding All for One's attention."

"A wise choice, principal." Orochimaru allowed, "But both I and Izanagi have removed our names from the active roster, so you would not have hired us, had you chosen that alternate path--running a sprawling collection of motley individuals is quite time-consuming, and it has not left us with the motivation to clean up after this sort of foolishness."

His eyes glinted with amusement. _What will you offer as motivation? Will you try to threaten the few I care about? Will you offer me wealth I have no need of? Will you compromise your morals? Struggle against your beliefs? What are you when pressure comes, teacher of heroes?_

"I understand completely, Orochimaru-san." Nedzu acknowledged gravely, "However, this is an issue of national--if not international security."

Orochimaru steepled his fingers. Golden eyes gleamed _. You would appeal to my better nature?_ "Ah. So it involves All Might. What about him do you fear the spy will discover?"

"I'm afraid you are mistaken, Orochimaru-san." Nedzu lied, "the issue with the spy revolves around the students' safety, not All Might's. As you are aware, the USJ attack targeted students, and while they proved capable of defending themselves, they are not at the level of average professional heroes, let alone All Might. The school invests heavily in security for a reason, and the spy could mean all our measures would be rendered ineffectual."

_This is a danger to us all, including your son._

For the first time since the meeting had begun, Orochimaru smiled. A viciously amused smile, all sharp edges and predator's glee. "Come now, Principal Nedzu." Purred the snake to the mouse, "The USJ attack was far worse than you claimed. I recognized Kabuto's handiwork on Aizawa-sensei's wounds, and the presence of residual injury--make the man get at least ten hours of consecutive bed rest and a few straight meals in the near future--indicates the severity of the original damage, clearly showing that the attack was without precedent in scale. It was an organized effort that stemmed from months of preparation, and yet, despite the potential existence of a spy, the relocation of the students was wholly random, indicating that their demise was not a priority--they were bait. Then for whom? A hero of course."

_I trust my son to defend himself, and others as well. I know my power, I have nothing to fear._

Nedzu sighed. "And my hasty reaction, coupled with my concern, revealed that I believed All Might to be vulnerable."

_You can see that I am desperate._

"Correct, Principal. The villains have waxed, or the heroes have waned, and either way, our enemies in black see an opportunity. Now, is All Might vulnerable, or is it that his attachments have made him so? If so, is it the fault of the boy with the Quirk near identical to his, so bright and brilliant and yet easy to exploit?"

_Amuse me, and I may assist._

"Young Kabuto's observations, I presume?" Kabuto had never concealed his possession of hidden depths, but the extent of them was terrifying.

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow, "A poor parent would I be if I did not pay attention to my son's dinner conversation."

Nedzu was not in a position of power here. And alliances were built upon (an appearance) of trust. "You are correct, Izanami-san." He admitted, "All Might is weakening, and his successor is Midoriya Izuku. We fear that there shall be a crime renaissance when the secret is revealed, with All for One directing it from the shadows. That is why I am asking you to help us."

_You protect your own. We share common interests._

There was a puff of smoke, and a giant purple snake appeared between them. Like Nedzu, the non-human acted with human intelligence as it (he?) raised his head to Orochimaru's ear and hissed.

Even off the active rosters, Orochimaru's skills had not waned. He remained so perfectly unchanging that even with Nedzu's superhuman senses, he could divine nothing about the message's nature. Orochimaru thanked the snake, and he disappeared in another puff of smoke.

There was genuine excitement on the face of the one titled kami of the dead as he leaned forward and said, "Let us discuss terms."

_I agree._

* * *

Kabuto led his newly acquired ally through two vents, a fire escape, and into a hallway. Opening the window, he gestured, "We've barricaded the gym, so we can only get in and out this way. I'll lower you down."

"I'm going to fall." said Hitoshi-san, dead-eyed, "And break my neck. And die."

"Don't be ridiculous," the medic-nin brandished a green-glowing hand, "I won't let you die! Now, if you're worried, Tsuyu-san could always carry you down--she's just down the wall, want me to call her?"

The poke at Hitoshi-san's pride did the trick. "Fine," he grumbled, "but if I die, I'm haunting you."

Kabuto shrugged, "Sure, I'd love to study post-mortem astral projection. Promise to haunt me and only me?"

Hitoshi-san grimaced as he climbed onto the window ledge and took Kabuto's hand, "That doesn't exactly make me feel more confident about this. Alright, lower me down."

Kabuto complied, letting the General Studies boy go before swinging down himself. Sadly, while his classmates were Hero Studies students, they were not trained in shinobi-situational awareness, meaning that they didn't notice Hitoshi-san's entrance, let alone his.

He clapped his hands. "Alright everyone, this is Shinsou Hitoshi-san, and he's here to help with Enji. If we can prove that Enji isn't sentient enough to be held responsible for his actions, we'll only have to make a case for humane treatment and we'll get to keep Enji. If Enji's sentient enough to understand orders, we'll threaten to take this to court and bury them under paperwork and publicity. All say yea?"

He was greeted with noises of assent.

Oto's favorite son grinned, "Time to get to work then. Izuku-san, Hitoshi-san, Kyoka-san, you're up."

He took a step back and released the voice-changing genjutsu he had been using as a stopgap measure, since unlike his mother, he had never quite gotten the hang of neurological iryou-ninjutsu.

* * *

Some time after the video had been produced, backed up, and sent, there was a puff of smoke that heralded the arrival of a three-meter-long snake. The snake was diamond-headed, purple scaled, and a bit on the well fed side, which, Hitoshi thought privately to himself, was a relief.

The teleporting snake-monster might not want to eat him. However, 1-A clearly subscribed to the philosophy of fight instead of flight, so its arrival was swiftly answered with explosions, belly-beams, a shadow-monster, and ice. Kabuto, on the other hand, welcomed the giant human-eating creepy thing with a pat on the head, apparently unconcerned for his fingers.

"Don't worry!" The clinically insane boy reassured his far too unsurprised classmates and one very surprised Hitoshi, "This is just Manda, my sort-of-murder-uncle. He's on a diet."

The snake, now named Manda, narrowed slit-pupiled eyes at 1-A's resident rebel. While there was some tension in reaction to the act--notably with Tsuyu, not to mention Bakugo still looking tempted to follow up on his initial volley of explosions, most of 1-A seemed to be willing to watch and wait. Propably out of experience. There was a pause.

Then, "Orochimaru," said the snake with all the dignity someone called sort-of-murder-uncle could muster, "Wants me to congratulate you on your first joint foray into aggressive social activism and that your mother is very happy that you've been exploring non-lethal methods of gaining people's attention. Also, congratulations, you succeeded."

"Yippee." Bakugo crossed his arms, "What's the catch?"

Manda frowned at him severely, or as severely as a snake could, replying, "You will be required to comply with forensic investigations. In addition, seeing as you have all been rebellious brats who don't know the meaning of proper protocol, you're all getting extra law classes. Kabuto, you're the ringleader, so you especially."

"Seriously?" Kabuto whined.

Fast as well, a striking snake, Manda wound himself around the pale-haired teenager. The room froze for a moment, two, three. No one dared to breath. Then, the man-eater sized snake coiled back onto the floor.

The snaked looked at Kabuto disapprovingly, "Goodbye. You are far too thin. Eat a human and take the next month off digesting it."

Kabuto sighed with the air of someone rehashing an old argument, "You know very well that humans aren't particularly nutritious, Manda."

Manda huffed. "Youngsters these days. Listen to your elders, hatchling."

Another poof of smoke, and the anthrovorous reptile was gone.

Ugh. He was almost rethinking trying for the hero course, nothing here made sense.

* * *

Kabuto allowed himself a mysterious smirk (he smirked mysteriously all the time, so no one questioned it). Manda had hissed _Nono's made contact with All for One_ in his ear when he hugged him. Given that Manda was here, Orochimaru had made common cause with the heroesl. Which meant… Mother, Wandering Miko, compassionate medic, Izanagi, was the one dealing with the villains, while Orochimaru, Snake Sannin, amoral scientist, Izanami, was the one dealing with the heroes. It was beyond hilarious. Of course, that meant Orochimaru had won the family bet on whether they'd get swept into the ridiculousness that was this world's shoddy excuse of a struggle between good and evil, therefore, as per agreement, they'd stop keeping a low(-ish) profile.

The paper that the reincarnated summons had slipped him held more information. The school was compromised, and it wasn't by him.

Hitoshi-san's introduction had been designed to normalize relations between him and the class, and from the looks of it, it had been successful. Hitoshi-san had now been drawn into conversation with the ever gregarious Eijiro-san, just as intended, and it was now only a matter of time before they assimilated Hitoshi-san into their ranks. That could be the pretext for initiating his "fall from grace" and subsequent identification of All for One's mole, which had the added benefit of allowing him to give his place to someone who actually wanted it. Scheming time!


	15. The Organization, Origins

 

The Organization is older than heroes. If heroes and villains are the two loud siblings whose fighting takes up the family’s attention, then the Organization is the unobtrusive cousin no one in the family really knows, and so awkwardly ignore. This is not a new state of affairs. The Organization has been around ever since governments the world over started using Quirked individuals to give themselves an edge, then took advantage of the treaties that outlawed Quirk warfare to establish itself as the foremost authority on Quirked Asset Management  and the premium provider of Quirk using mercenaries.

Surprisingly, its success was not due to ruthlessness or underhanded measures. Well, not its own, at any rate. At a time when Quirked individuals were seen as oddities and assets at best, tools and lab rats at worst, the Organization distinguished itself through treating its employees with integrity, and dealing with potential threats in good faith. While the world met Quirks with wariness and scorn, and the individuals in government employ were often unexpectedly eliminated, possessors of useful, blatant, or too-dangerous-to-live abilities were offered stable employment of the grayer sort in the Organization. After all, if all the world played Bad Cop, why not be the good one? Therefore, it was only expected that such people flocked to the Organization’s banner.

And the foresight of the Organization bore fruit. Mercenaries were willing to accept reduced rates in exchange for surety of non-betrayal, leading to competitive prices. Security and safety at home base meant greater effort spent on training, increasing agent quality, which, combined with the decision not to eliminate out of paranoia, in turn led to reduced turnover rate, resulting in more experienced operatives, and consequently far more optimal performance and mission outcomes,

The Organization built itself a reputation. It offered high quality at (relatively) low prices, discretion, and a distinct lack of fanaticism.

Even as the tides of public opinion turned and the Hero system was midwifed to confront the everyday evils of villainy, the players in the game of nations found their hands tied when dealing with the gray complexities of interests, alliances, trust, and betrayal, for it had become diplomatically damaging to be seen to employ Quirks directly, and shadowed facilities had long since turned into boogeymen that few would come near, let alone be trained in for black-ops. Not to mention, one could hardly ask heroes, the brave defenders of justice, to lie and spy and kill. Other pieces would have to be found. And so, the Organization was put in the ideal position to gather blackmail, thus ensuring that not only could it protect its own, it was itself protected from destruction as it took on its current form:

A motley assembly of gods, half out of myth, workers of miracles. Removed from petty mortal bickering, but not unwilling to act when conditions were met; yet willing to be kind, and finding strength in kindness; still battling against true evil, despite its claims of amorality.

And so, by the time Orochimaru grew again into his own, there was an excellent Konoha-substitute for him and his partner to gather their strength and learn the dance of politics and war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sun, Moon, and Storm on Izanagi's mask: symbolizing Amaterasu, Tsukiyomi, and Susano'o. Blood splatters, because this was taken right after fighting.  
> Orochimaru's Izanami mask is painted to resemble a burnt skull with a snake crawling out if the mouth. Everyone points out that it looks like the dark mark and ask him if he's a Harry Potter fan.  
> Both of them wear ANBU cloaks, because they're practical and familiar.
> 
> The phrase on the Organization crest means "goodness is not weakness" in Esperanto. The crest is literally a blank mask because everyone has a mask to wear on missions (not that everyone does), and the phrase is in Esperanto because Google's very uncooperative when it comes to Latin.


	16. Mother and Son, Spies of Snarled Stratagems

An IV fed a steady stream of raw materials down into her patient's torso, while iryou-ninjutsu pushed gently for cells to revert to pluripotent stem cells, divide, grow, differentiate and rearrange themselves into a healthy organ at what some would call an unnatural speed. Izanagi had kept her identity so carefully separate from Nono that few, if any, would realize that same miracle the medic-nin used to repair the stomach could as easily--no, with even greater ease--stop the heart, let alone that she would. But the most dangerous thing in the world was not the jutsu that could kill an individual, but the words that could change one.

Healing was an act of intimacy, and an act of trust. It also took up enough mental capacity to make lying--or telling a tacit truth difficult. All for One was familiar enough with such things to take advantage, so, as expected, the man broached, "I am curious, Yakushi-sensei. This Quirk of yours--any Hero school would have welcomed you with open arms, and sponsorships should have poured in like a tide. But instead, you chose the laborious path of co-founding Otogakure. Why did you do it?"

The Miko carefully kept her eyes on the bared, scarred skin that lay beneath her green-glowing hands. "A realization. Injustice wore the cloak of lawfulness, and unlike some, I had no talent for changing systems from the inside--they have a habit of changing me as well, you see. So I intended to become a doctor--it is expected for us to advocate for reform. That was when Orochimaru suggested a more direct path."

"That sounds quite inspiring." All for One agreed, "But it must be quite frustrating, to have to shout to be heard, only to be labeled as villains and easily dismissed when your cause is finally given attention."

"It is beyond disheartening." Nono conceded, moving up towards esophagus. "However, speaking of villainy, are you planning to attack the Sports Festival?"

"A curious question, Nono-sensei."

"I can hardly be ambiguous when my son is involved." She said delicately, ending the Mystic Palm technique and pulling on a virtual reality set. "And I could hardly miss that you are the ones responsible for the attack on my son's class--Kurogiri-san's form and abilities are quite distinctive."

"My apologies for endangering your son." Ichirou winced, "Yet my goals can not allow me to stop attacking your son's class."

"That, I understand." The Wandering Miko allowed in a clipped voice, "Kabuto chose to enter your world. All I can do is ask him to choose a different path, and support him if he refuses. However, as a mother, I must know, will you be attacking him at that event?"

"No." Ichirou admitted, "The Noumu have not yet developed to be usable. Besides, it would not be tactical to attack the Sports Festival."

"Why not?" She asked mildly, marking out the scar tissue her diagnostic jutsu had revealed. "So far as the internet is concerned, terrorists do not attack for strategic purposes so much as they do to have their message heard.--"

* * *

"--UA's doing a lot to increase security!" Izuku protested, "Besides, even if they didn't, the original measures, in addition to the off-duty heroes invited would be quite sufficient--Endeavour-san will be the highest ranked hero present, and even if you dislike him--with good reason!--he _is_ the Number Two!"

Kabuto shrugged, "I still doubt it. Not even the people on the job will be as vigilant as they should--no one expects to be attacked at a festival, given that the atmosphere would be so positive. After that, the number of civilians present will mean record numbers of hostages, forcing heroes to focus on protecting them instead of apprehending villains. It's pretty much ideal, especially if the villains have a mass-effect weapon or quirk among them."

_Speaking from experience, of course. Not that the invasion worked as well as we hoped._

* * *

"--then, when it comes to publicity, well, few events are as widely broadcast as our modern gladiatorial games."

"I take it that you are not at all appreciative of them, Nono-sensei."

The Miko shrugged, "Should I be? It is the cancer at the heart of the system, bared before the eyes of the adoring public and yet passing unseen." Her hands spasmed with deliberately-fanned fury, "They entertain themselves with the injury of _children_. I will not forgive them this."

"Bloodsport." All for One summarized, "But one may argue we need heroes in our society. Society needs to see their best. Needs to see how the good grow into the great. Needs to see children step into their defenders' shoes, if they are to support their heroes, and not faceless enforcers." He laughed a hollow laugh, "At the expense of those golden princes' reviled shadows, of course."

So that was his angle. Turn Yakushi Nono's distaste for Heroics, well-known innate empathy and resultant protectiveness of the disadvantaged against the system that created them. Yet his greatest obstacle and ally was Otogakure. It was well-formed, steadily growing change, with fewer infernos of hate, but far more steady candle-lights of compassion. Yakushi Nono, co-founder of Otogakure, was neither the ilk of the dissatisfied and angry under his banner, nor the like of the uncertain recent convert; possessed of hard-won confidence, absent a leash of secret shame or new-found guilt; no confederate due to convenience, even less a devotee out of faith. She could only be dealt with as an ally, if not an equal, if not because of her command over an equally devout following (with far more diverse antecedents and skills at that), then because she had no reason to allow herself to be treated as anything else.

"It is at some times quite difficult to remember, that the masses that benefit are more than mindless faces, but storied people too." Nono admitted, biting out each word, "A physician could hardly sacrifice the majority for a few, even if no one should choose happily the sacrifice of a minority for the sake of the many." She colored her speech with the emptiness of rote repetition, "The system in place has settled too well. The role Heroes play in stabilizing social order is too great."

"But then," All for One pressed, seeing the opening she had left, "If a society is built upon suffering, shouldn't it be torn down?"

* * *

Kabuto snorted as he and Izuku walked down the corridor, "Our school is obviously making a gamble, and with more than it has to boot. The best case scenario is that everything goes smoothly, and no villains appear--the public is reassured that heroes are an effective villain deterrent, we go about none the worse for wear, and morale rises. If there's a need to repel an attack, then they'd better make the defense a good show, and make sure there aren't any casualties, otherwise we lose the gamble and shake the public's faith in Heroes." The spy shrugged, "Similar things happen with the police, or with disgraced politicians, but with Heroes, it's worse. That's what happens when you let the media run away with their image and turn them into a symbol. Add in that Yuuei is second only to All Might when it comes to symbols, the only thing that would rival our defeat when it comes to raising crime rates and such would be if he got injured."

Izuku didn't quite manage to hide his wince. And since Kabuto was Kabuto and extraordinarily observant either because it was one of the adaptations of his Quirk which allowed him to better diagnose and monitor organics or because he had trained to be; both were possible but with Kabuto it was most likely the latter, especially in light of USJ when his friend had leapt into battle to save their sensei, leaving a trail of corpses in his wake, showing skills that had no relation to his Quirk apart from what Kabuto had told him about the value of healing at his level and how much the skill was in demand in the underworld and therefore how much Kabuto needed to protect himself, which also led to Kabuto's disturbingly cynical and perceptive personality. Oh. They were in an empty classroom. Kabuto was locking the door.

"All Might is injured?" Kabuto asked, staring at him intently, "He is, I saw the flinch. You need to learn how to lie, by the way, our school is compromised and while the informant is definitely less capable than I, you still should learn to keep tells under control. All Might's performance hasn't suffered any unusual dips or spikes recently--the injury is not recent--of course. You're panicked, this injury is debilitating and classified, and according to nii-san, as far as he can tell, All Might hasn't appeared for more than three hours a day for at least half a decade, but he hasn't shown signs of weakening otherwise--the injury has been around for that long and it affects his duration of quirk use, but not the quality of the same. What is it, Izuku-san? If it's not a brain injury, then I can help."

Izuku hesitated. He trusted Kabuto, but. White amongst sprays of red. A knife-sharp grin. A row of covered bodies, while their killer shed a stained coat for a fresh one, and exchanged with healing the making of the dead. A monster snatched from villains' hands, then called a pet. Kabuto was…Kabuto. Besides, it wasn't his secret to tell.

"I don't think you can help, Kabuto." He deflected instead, "The wound's old, and not really your area of expertise--you usually apply your Quirk for preventative purposes or for fresh injuries, and it isn't anything like that. Not to mention, All Might's definitely gotten the best treatment possible already."

The silver-haired boy laughed, waving off his attempt, "No they didn't. Mother wasn't approached. Probably because they didn't trust her with national security, but that does not change the fact that there is only one thing mother can not cure, and that is death."

Izuku really winced at that. There went his best argument.

"It isn't just my secret, Kabuto."

Kabuto blinked. "Just that?" He tapped his chin, "Would it be Nedzu-sensei's secret then? Or would I need to have it straight from the horse's mouth?"

The boy thought swiftly. Compared to Yagi-san, Nedzu-sensei was the better choice. He could warn Yagi-san when he got home, "I think that you should ask Nedzu-sensei first."

Kabuto nodded agreeably, "I'll do that tomorrow."

Crisis averted, for now.


	17. Otogakure, Origins

Orochimaru entered university with a phone full of contacts and a steadily growing network of debts and favors owed. He saw a fair-haired woman debating medical ethics with their teacher, only for her to turn and reveal a familiar face, now young and unlined by worry and woe. Their eyes met. ANBU signs flashed between their fingers, unnoticed by any save the two shinobi. There was no desperation in his erstwhile companion's eyes, that ROOT-born grimness exchanged for determination born of compassion.

The day done, they went to a nearby café for coffee.

"You registered your chakra as a quirk?" He asked incredulously.

Yakushi shrugged, "I needed to be able to use it legally for healing."

"And can you?"

"No." Nono replied darkly. "It was suggested that I enter heroics for a license, along the lines of Recovery Girl."

"You would never allow yourself to be restrained by from doing your utmost to heal." He complimented in reply, "Nor will you be lacking in those who will need your healing."

"Is this a ploy to lure me into your employ, Otokage?" Nono laughed gently.

"Wander where you may, Miko," He returned, "But know you will always be welcome at my side. But who suggested that you enter heroics, Nono?"

"An organization called the Heroics Commission. They pressed, but I insisted on medical school."

How dare. How _dare_ they attempt to put Nono, ROOT-tied Nono, kunoichi of Konohagakure under their thumbs? They would force a scalpel to be a hammer, and profit from its abuse.

"I have heard of them." He hissed, "They trick children into contracts when they're too young to escape, and then raise them as their pet soldiers."

"Then great injustice wears the cloak of lawfulness yet." She said evenly, "Medicine is a tool that treats the body, but it appears that the illness we must confront is one of society." Nono set her cup down with a deliberate delicacy, "Tell me, Orochimaru, what have you been creating?"

"A song." He smiled, "And it sings of personhood."

She laughed at that. "Otogakure reborn as the champion of the weak?"

The Otokage snorted, "I see no reason not to take advantage of the resources civilians have so foolishly discarded."

"That sounds more like you." Nono raised an eyebrow, "And seeing as my son is not here to remind you of deadlines and the existence of sustenance beyond ration bars and takeout, I presume that you're lacking in a Yakushi adjutant."

They fell silent as a waiter set a plate of sesame mochi on the table.

Nono accepted the offering.

"Not anymore, I hope." Orochimaru said in response.

"No." Confirmed Yakushi Nono, "Not anymore."


	18. Dabi, Attorney of Abetal

Dabi pulled on a pair of giant sunglasses. "Too tacky?"

"Bodyguard." Cassandra rolled her eyes from behind horn-rimmed glasses, "Try something, you know, body-guard-ish."

He pouted, "But you know how my eyes are! I need something that hides the skin if I want to go incognito!"

"Baseball cap and Sumi's help will work perfectly well." Nono added, looking down at them from her round glasses mock-severely. "And yes, Dabi, Sumi promised to remove the tattoo afterwards, even if he does think that the design alone would improve your looks considerably."

Dabi snorted, "Yeah, Inky can fuck off with his weird goth and tattoo aesthetic, I'm revenant resurrected for revenge, not one of those Yakuza fuckers with a ton of gunk in their skin. And, speaking of that, Inky should stop with the tattoos. Not only does it make us look like criminals, someone's going to wise up and arrest him for concealed carrying or for illegal Quirk-enhancements."

"I'll tell him when I get back." Nono said agreeably, "Now, does Cassandra's persona have any favorite sport's teams?"

"Nope." The younger woman shrugged, "So, bright red, right? Or something equally eye-searing."

"Fuck, Cass, you don't know what your asking for, mum's default for eye-searing is--" Dabi flinched violently at the neon green monstrosity Nono had pulled from the dark depths of hell-slash-the wardrobe, " _that._ "

Cass cackled, "It's perfect!"

"You don't mean that!" He snapped, part genuine horror, part Quirk effect.

"Oh come on, Dabs, live a little!" Cass laughed and threw him a manila folder, "Read these. Also, I already have a codename ready for you if you want to do this permanently, "Super fire, rebellion against asshole dad, plus being a lawyer--guess what, you're Satan."

Dabi held up a finger, "Okay, that was a mess, let me reinterpret: By having a codename ready, you mean you've only thought of one, no paperwork's gone through yet. Phrases don't count with your Quirk, so we'll go past that. Then, Satan. Satan's not accurate--Lucifer. You want me to be called Lucifer?"

Cassandra gave him a thumbs up, "You can't tell me it isn't perfect for you. 'sides, see what you did? Why wouldn't I want a partner like you?"

Dabi flipped through the information on their covers, "Tough luck, 'cus this fire-slinging lawyer is most certainly not going to work with someone who literally calls him Incineration, Grand Thief _Thief._ "

"Oh come on," 'Akisu' shot back, "Don't we know that they're going to be running background checks? Isn't it obvious that this is going to be a sign of good faith?"

"If we're trying to pretend to show good faith, why send you? We know that you use rhetorical questions to get around your Quirk, but they don't." Dabi grimaced, "Don't tell me that--"

"Yeah, I'm the best choice for a reason." Cassandra said grimly.

"How many have we lost?" Nono asked.

Cassandra held up three fingers.

"And how sure are we that a truth-teller's the cause?"

Eight. A pause. Five.

Eighty-five percent. Well. Shit. He scrubbed a hand over his face, "That's…"

"Yes." Cass agreed, "That's. If you want to back out--"

"What sort of person do you think I am, Cass?" He jammed the monstrosity on his head, "You're good, but primarily intel. You need a heavy hitter. I'm not leaving you hanging. 'sides, where else are you getting such a cool skill combo?"

By nightfall, the pair of them had been dressed in discreet armor, had their features disguised by Sumi's seal-tattoo nightmares, and slunk towards the agreed upon meeting point.

* * *

"We killed too kindly in Hyotan." The Serpent Sannin reflected, smoothing stress away from his partner's neck, "Had we kept some alive for interrogation, this situation could have been avoided."

"There would have been another crisis." Nono sighed, "And if Cassandra needed help, then Dabi would have definitely given it. At least its Yakuza. They have the weight of history and tradition behind them, and that influences their actions, and as shinobi, we have experience dealing with their kind."

"A truth teller as an opponent. It would be interesting, to see how the two quirks react, and I dare say that we shall have proof on whether humans are ruled by emotion or rationality."

"Both, Oro." Nono insisted, "Always both. That is what makes us human, not tools."

"As you say, dearest." Orochimaru grumbled cheerfully, "Though given the malleability of human memory, as well as Cassandra's extraordinarily powerful Quirk, I am quite certain that she will come out in favor. All of our children must grow their own scales, and not rely on our protection, and even if Cassandra finds herself in a sticky situation, Dabi's katon can match Itachi-kun's. They will hold out long enough for rescue, if their cover is blown."

"We can only hope." Nono allowed.

Her partner tut-tutted, "Stop worrying, there is no point, and I would rather not have attempt to relax your muscles turn Sisyphean."

She giggled lightly, "You are an apt demonstration of logic ruling emotion, if we must choose one over the other."

Orochimaru pressed down into a particularly stubborn knot, "But, as I have been repeatedly told, I am not precisely human. Seeing what the rest of our alleged species get up to, I doubt that any of us are at all."

"And that," Nono pointed out lightly, "Is an example of the opposite theory, which in turn indicates our consanguinity with all our manifold kin."

* * *

Luckily for the two infiltrators, Shōkyaku and Akisu, the man sent to meet them, Nemoto Shin, despite being a truth-teller of sorts, was indeed susceptible to Akisu's quirk.

"You'd be surprised at how easy it is for me to steal stuff if I tell people 'yeah, I'm not authorized' and then ask them for help." Akisu shrugged, "If that doesn't work, Yaku can just, y-know, go physical and burn the door down. 'course, I'm a professional, so we don't usually need anything that excessive, but its apparently healthy to remind myself that my quirk isn't always a curse."

Dabi coughed politely, because Sumi was a petty little man who had turned him into a pasty-skinned nerd that'd topple if someone sneezed at him wrong, ass. "Be careful, Aki'." He reminded, all academic's accent and quiet caution. Which was annoying.

"It is a true conundrum." Nemoto allowed, sounding something between embarrassed and flustered, "Intellectually, I am certain that I have been using my Quirk, but I simply can not… Sincerely speaking, this is a situation I have not encountered before, and while I understand it is no fault of your own, I genuinely feel uncomfortable interacting… yet I must admit that you are a unique personage…"

Akisu grinned, "No sweat. To be honest, it's a bit nice to meet a truth-teller. At least you're confident in your quirk, right? I'm a bit tired of thinking every sentence through, and Yaku might be the only one who around who understands sign. With you, you have to believe me even if you don't believe me, so I don't have to watch every word just to talk to someone, right?"

Oh hell. Akisu was going for the ingratiation route. Given how emotionally constipated everyone was around here (he wasn't, no matter what the two Saibaisho said), Nemoto might actually escalate all the way to romance, and that would just be embarrassing for everyone. Oh, Cass was discreetly signing "help" "romance" "target". Ugh, seriously, were they going for all the clichés? Or was Cass just having a craving for expensive food while wanting to be a spendthrift again?

He coughed politely, again, "If it would be helpful, I would be happy to translate."

Nemoto didn't manage to hide the flash of relief, also, his body language indicated a migraine forming. Or a stress headache. Some sort of pain of the brain at any rate. Poor guy. Of course, whatever sympathy points Eight Precepts lieutenant earned were lost the moment he opened his mouth, "It would be greatly appreciated, Shōkyaku-san. And I must admit, your appearance is incongruent with your personality."

He shrugged and smiled embarrassedly, because embarrassment seemed to be the dominant emotion here, "We don't do this often, and I've been told my dress sense is terrible quite a few times. I just chose something that does well enough as a disguise, even if I know that green hats are an euphemism for being cuckolded and your Quirk is making me overshare so tell me to stop if I make you uncomfortable and please don't take it the wrong way because I'm not actually being cuckolded because I don't have a significant other in the romantic sense and Aki and I are just friends and she deserves someone who can listen to her despite her quirk."

Nemoto--not nematode, remember that, put a pretty good show on about being unfazed, probably because he'd heard worse. But don't think Yaku hadn't noticed the extra glance or two Aki's way.

* * *

"I still do not regret Hyotan." Nono said, a cup of tea in hand and looking out into the distance in that faux-absent-minded way that was her watching for eavesdroppers. Of course, they had trapped their house enough that most eavesdroppers would find their eavesdropping become a literal dropping from eaves in an eyeblink, but it was a good habit to keep, and some Quirks were genuinely difficult to guard against. Cadaalada's, for instance. "I would not have left anyone in Hyotan longer than I had to, let alone Kabuto. But we did act rashly--once you sensed the chakra flare, we zeroed in on the location and mounted an assault, and we did not care for hiding our hands. You threw elemental transformations and shape transformations, and I was reckless with Hell Viewings. We were lucky the Organization had the ability and inclination to cover for us."

"We have argued to a full circle now, beloved Nono." Orochimaru laughed softly, still that bone-chilling rasp of scales on stone, "You now regret, despite it being you who dissuaded me from the same. Shall I repeat your argument back at you? The wood has been carved into the boat, the arrow has left the bow, we can not change what was done, so there is no point thinking so optimistically about might-have-beens. After all, if a change in conduct at Hyotan had transpired, all that would be changed now would be that we would simply experience a cousin of the current circumstances."

"And yet." The woman behind the Wandering Miko folded both hands around her cup, "Espionage is too delicate a selection of memories."

And both fell silent, remembering ROOT, and their own transgressions. It was because of that, after all, that Kabuto strove to keep up good cheer, now that he had jumped back into the shadowy netherworld of secrets and lies.

"It is less dangerous." Orochimaru offered, "Goodness is no weakness. Kindness is no failure. Circumstances have changed, and now the stakes are less high. Neither of them wear too deep a mask. They will not suffer the madness you and Kabuto did."

"Intellectually, I know." Nono agreed, "Yet my heart is not so easily changed. Too few can help, should we fail. And we are restrained, restricted as once we were not. I miss, at times the weight of reputation and the notoriety of allies we once had at our backs--even the mercurial, rarely-given protection of the Darkness of Shinobi." She laughed, tiredly, "Truly, I was named either too right, or too wrong. I am not at all carefree."

And they sat in silence, missing two and one and more, and waited for the dark spell to pass.

**Author's Note:**

> Orochimaru is gleefully running an organization with a mandate that can be summarized as treating people with basic human decency while pointedly not looking accusingly at everyone else in society.  
> Toshinori, Oto's a weird place and it's medical division can heal anything short of death (they're still working on it, projected completion time around a half a decade). Please, please tell Kabuto about your injuries before he finds out via panicked Izuku.  
> There's a poll on my Fanfiction.net profile, so drop by and leave a vote on what you want to see next!


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